(what if) i dont' budge

and i just had to do this again. sigh.

life is full of ironies.
when you don't speak up and assert your right,
people would step on you.
but if you opt to do otherwise,
it'd seem that you're acting rashly. famished for some sort of assertion.

life is more confusing than i (already) thought.
i used to be passive. saying, "okay lang. never mind. or hayaan mo na lang."
nowadays, i came to realize that that shouldn't always be the case.
but why is it that things still didn't go the way i thought it would?
bakit ganon? bakit parang ako pa rin ang lugi sa huli?
sinasabi ko lang naman kung ano ang tama. pero parang lumalabas pa rin akong mali?

yes, you can say that it's just money. heck, i used to even say that.
but then a friend told me that i shouldn't tolerate things. (not anymore)
well, yeah, maybe IT'S JUST MONEY.
but i was only claiming something that is due me.
i even calculated everything as you told i should. fairly and squarely.

haaay. yes, i know you wouldn't understand.
you may not read much into what i'm even feeling.
gusto kong maiyak. out of frustration.
heave a heavy sigh. get it out of my system.
whisper a silent prayer to God...
Lord, You know what I mean. Help me get by...

disclaimer: yes, i may be doing this during work hours. forgive me. i just felt like venting.