1.29.2008

why am i saying this?

education. and how one values it.

one of the many things i'd want to pass on to "my children" is that valuable lesson my dear parents taught me, value your education.
"we worked hard to achieve what we have now. and we owe it all to the fact that we finished school, our parents did their best to give us the best."


(I never failed to forget that since...)

my parents were raised from different social backgrounds
. my mom seemingly came from a "well-to-do" family (well, at some point they did seem that they were). and my dad, had to work out in the field to help sustain their family needs. since they lost their father at a very young age, everyone decided to put a stake to help with finances. though different, they both were very determined to achieve their personal goals...

finish school. get a good-paying job. build valuable work experience. earn enough money. build a family.


sounds easy? i sure know that the journey wasn't. and they never failed to remind us that.

i'm grateful at how our parents reared us. they've opened our eyes to life's (harsh) realities. treated us as adults even during childhood. involved us in discussions that were serious and even consulted our opinions to decision-making that involves the family.

of course, they did treat us as their little ones. but they made us see that life isn't always about things that are pink and rosy.

and all these paid off.

but even if they did open our eyes to those crude facts. there were still some things that i took forgranted. little things that didn't feel significant. until now...

as i was doing one of my last few tasks at work, a sudden rush of "contemplation" came to me...

as i was there. seated. at the frontrow of a local mini-bus. staring out the window.
i saw flocks of kids traversing meters and meters of distance in their small rugged feet.
just to get to school. and beat the 8:00 am buzzer.

i suddenly remembered my gradeschool days... when i used some sortof delaying tactic just so i won't get to ride the first trip in our school bus. OR how i'd lazily get up from bed, do my morning routine before the bus beeps for my trip to school.

if only i've seen how these kids were. maybe i'd have a different take towards preppin (for school). i was so blessed to even have that (school)bus take me to and fro'. while these kids tire themselves even before classes start. that scenario made me heave a grateful sigh.

but altogether, what they did was some sort of sacrifice.
traversing meters just to earn the day's lessons.
put tiny investments into their (mind)banks.
get educated to push themselves out of poverty.

but why do they have to exert much effort to attain their right?

if only...
(sigh. what's gonna come out of me after that would create a lengthy discourse. if you know what i mean...)


et cetera: i so wanted to capture that "sight"... but rats, i forgot to bring my cam with me.
so much for evidence right there.

1.28.2008

makiki-sentenaryo na rin ako...

Got this from Aggie, but originally saw this in my sister, Ross' page:

Student number?
2001-24513 (scrambled na 12345. ito lang ata ang number na memorize ko pa rin hanggang magka-anak nako)

College?
College of Home Economics (college ng mga courses na diversed talaga)

Ano ang course mo?
BS Family Life and Child Development (di ko masyado sure kung bakit ito ang napili ko, close to Psych, mas specialized lang)

Nag-shift ka ba o na-kick out?
Nagplano akong mag-shift to Psych. Well, 75% samin nagplano non. Pero minority ang tumuloy. (I learned to love my course.)

Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT? (Where did you take your entrance examination?)
Sa UPIS New Building. (at the back of my mind I said, "new building? pero sira-sira pa rin?" oopsie.)

Favorite GE (General Education) classes?
Hmm. SocSci 2... kahit hanggang gabi yun, nandon kasi yung crush ko from FA, na muntik ko nang maka-"date". and siyempre, STS... ohmygod! Atom was my classmate. and I was thisclose to talking to him. (would've beens)

Favorite PE?
Lahat ng PE ko masaya. Favorite ko... Cheerdance and Philippine Games:)

Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot guys/girls sa UP?
Hmm. Hindi ako nag-aabang (plastic). Nakikita ko na lang sila bigla sa mga classes ko. sigh.

Favorite Professors?
I'm bad with names. Sorry.

Least favorite GE (General Education) class?
Hmmm. Even if i like Bio in general. I hate NatSci2 (ung bio part), imbyerna yung prof don. And even if I like Comm 3, i don't like our Prof. Doc La... maanghang siya masyadong magsalita. (at pinalabas niya ako sa classroom for being a minute-late from class. ngar.)

Did you sign up for Saturday classes?
NEVER

Nakapag-field trip ka ba?
Hmmm. Never akong pinayagan. Kaya nag-eextrawork ako in replacement. :|

Naging CS ka na ba or US sa UP?
CS first sem first year, tapos tinamad. Tapos ginanahan, naging US. tapos tinamad. Whirlwind ang acads ko... pero to sum it up, hhhmmm. Out of 8 sems, 3 sems akong US and 3 sems ring CS (ewww. grade conscious?)

What Organization/Fraternity/Sorority were you a member of?
UPJMA, UP FLCD Circle, UP UNESCO Club, PI GAMMA MU (ang dami kong inapply-an pero tamad talaga ako sa app process. oh well)

Saan ka tumatambay palagi?
Sa YO na naging Orange House. Ewan ko kung anong tawag na nila don ngayon. Sa Katipunan kapag tinotopak kami. Hmmm. At sa tapat ng classroom ko, para di malate. I'm such a nerd. haha.

Dorm, Boarding house, o Bahay?
Dorm for first two years, "flat" for the next two. then uwian na for the last sem.

Kung walang UPCAT test at malaya kang nakapili ng kurso mo sa UP, ano yun?
Journalism/Theater Arts(?)/Architecture(?)... Psychology pa rin siguro.

Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP?
Si Tanya! My first-friend ever. Friends pa rin kami ngayon. Then si Pie, Dennise, Cyril (barkada ko pa rin sila up to now... and the rest of xaijua:D)

First play na napanood mo sa UP?
El Publico, and i saw "it" there hanging for a long time. I tried not to look, but what the heck.

Saan ka madalas mag-lunch?
Sa CASAA/YO kapag mabilisan. Sa Katipunan or Libis kapag longbreaks. And in front of the classroom nung nerdy mode ako.

Name the 5 most conyo orgs in UP.
UPJMA was one...

Name 5 of the coolest orgs/frats/soro in UP.
hmmm. XAIJUA/Tuesday Club... kahit ayaw kaming payagang gumawa ng sariling org. I believe they're (we're) one of the coolest:)

May frat/soro bang nag-recruit sa yo?
Ano yun? Joke.

Masaya ba sa UP?
Oo naman! :D

Nakasama ka na ba sa rally?
Ne-ver.

Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student Council?
Hmmm. again, erratic. may time na nagvote ako, may time na apathetic mode ulit.

Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka?
Hindi. Pero gusto ko lang yung feeling na nag-eexcel. So there:)

Kanino ka pinaka-patay sa UP?
Tinatanong pa ba to? Kay ATOM:)

Kung di ka UP, anong school ka?
Wala akong ibang gustong school kundi UP. Period. Thank God, UP ako:)

1.26.2008

i am grateful...


I want to thank You for what you have already done. I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking
you right now.

I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better; I am thanking you right now.

I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me; I am thanking you right now.. I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears ; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed...

I am thanking you right now. I am thanking YO
U because I am alive.
I am thanking you because I made it through the day's difficulties. I am thanking you because I have walked around the obstacles.


I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better.

I'm thanking you because FATHER, YOU haven't given up on me...

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1.25.2008

(finally) it's out in the open...

just so we could get things out. in the open.
i've heard a lot of "news" flying here and there.
why do i feel like they'd want to be soo involved?

am i a public figure?
somesort of "celebrity"?
i'd want to laugh just thinking of it...

but at the back of mind, i felt i was stepping onto someone.
that person deserves to know. hear things straight from the horse's mouth.

today.
i've finally said it.
i've let it out my chest.
at around three in the afternoon.

i came up to his office. and blurted the truth.
it didn't happen as dramatic as i thought.
how should i explain things?
did it in a matter-of-fact-ly manner.

honestly, i felt what i did was a bit shallow and "meaningless"
it was as if i wasn't sincere. lacked the fervor to share my reason.
the "plan" was just hanging by the corner
and i chose today to put an end on things.

by doing that, i've finally set the finish line for my life at faraway land.

i was pained after dropping the bomb.
it was as if the conversation was metered.
i feared that i'd jerk a tear if i divulged.
i tried to keep a smile on my face.
uttered a polite, "thank you".
stood up and closed the door behind me.

i know i should feel relieved after the whole ordeal.
but sadness dawned on me. lingered for a time.
i cried. some of them saw the tears from my eyes.
i cried even more after talking to a trusty mentor.

i love my job. i loved my job. no doubt.
but i should save myself in the process.
save that glimmer of optimism that's clinging.
before i become jaded...

i'm not closing my doors
it's just that i need a breather from all these.
maybe i'd be back, only God knows when...

maybe. just maybe...

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