(recant on your childhood memories)do you still remember the #1 rule that our parents (or caregivers) told of us when we were little?"never talk to strangers..."this has practically become the mantra of every young kid i knew.mainly to serve as precautionary purpose to whatever. specifically because that was the height of kidnapping and stuff like that.(hold your horses. this is not about any kidnapping issue okay? just wait a while.)keeping that "rule" in mind has somehow created a generation wary of other people's intentions. it taught us not to trust others THAT easily. BECAUSE there are just SOME who can't be easily trusted. and who would take advantage of the seemingly vulnerable ones.oblivion could have resulted from this as well. apathy tagged along. thinking on it, such a simple "rule" has somehow scarred the generation that we now know of. simply because we opted to generalize on things. than to take time and give each other the benefit of the doubt.
growing up in the metro. i learned to exist and co-exist with people. screening those who i could seem to tolerate. and weed out the ones i couldn't. yes, i know that was harsh of me. but i'd rather be harsh than be so sweet and nice, yet carry pretenses at the back of my mind. i only kept a few bunch of friends, and those i kept were true (and i treated them humanely.. haha). :)
seeing myself from their perspective, (they always thought that) i was unyielding and snob. and it has sort-of rubbed into my system. i knew for a fact that i seemed that, and it has grown to be my defense mech. people who would take the initial impression and "chicken out"... have failed to meet the real me.
always thought that i COULD live through life that way. that people should go an extra mile to win my friendship. it took time for me to warm-up, and i sensed that it was unfair that things were happening one-way. (don't get me wrong, i did exert much in banking on friendships but more often than not, it's the other party who would take the first go then things would follow)
it was only when i got "thrown" into faraway land that i came to such a realization. in this foreign land, i should learn to adapt. to seek help from people, and ask "strangers" for me to be able to have a good grasp on things. (in reverie: i never mustered the courage to ask things from people. i was not that upfront that i've learned to find a way to let people work just so i could get things i like or need.) i needed to be independent and co-dependent at the same time.
from then on, that #1 rule got flushed down the drain. "never talk to strangers"... my arsse!
i guess getting used to unrelenting hospitality didn't just come my way, until this time. (t)here, i was able to experience random people trying to make conversation. willing to go out of their way to extend help. offering food while on trips - sometimes handing them (they wouldn't take no for an answer!). there was this hint of generosity that you couldn't find elsewhere in the metro. things that would often set me aback but now puts a tinge of warmth in my heart.
evidence: straight from fieldwork, i was on my way back to our program unit, riding a hordidly swift jeepney. i overheard a lady (with three boys) asking the wingman to buy her some candy. well, it's probably because she (or her sons) got nauseated from the trip. took us about a couple (or so) pitstops but to no avail, the specific candy wasn't found. passengers may have felt for her, so with outstretched arms, they handed her a handful of sweets that she and her kids could share. -yes, the gesture was simple. but would you do such given the scenario? i honestly wouldn't. well, i could have thought of offering some help, but i'm just not sure if could bring the message across. i guess that's what differs us from them. people from this side are more trusting and kind-hearted. (well, most of the time though.)
the "provincial" ones would appear to be "uncivilized", but with such behavior - their sheer kindness is more valuable than any upheld status from a proud and apathetic urban-ian. (haha. coining terms right here!) i sure do hope i've made sense. cause i somehow felt a tad lost over there.
yes, i know that we should be vigilant in relating with various people in distinct scenarios. but my point is that, we should learn to contextualize things. the "never talk to strangers" philosophy shouldn't dictate the way we approach anyone out there. we've lived through life, and went through tons of turbulent experiences... and it somehow made us wise right?
let's not quickly generalize... and give that person right infront of you the benefit of the doubt.
who knows that someone you've encountered may have made a ground-breaking decision in life... and you just saved the whole world from it.
(aaack. brainfart. forgive the "crappy"(?) thought)
