love-hate

i love it cos everything seemed new and exciting.
i hate it cos misadventures were tailgating.
i love it cos i thought i was making a difference.
i hate it cos it's more taxing than i thought.
i love it cos i get to go places.
i hate it cos it's too far from home.
i love it cos i get to meet various people.
i hate it that i had to learn how to deal with each of them.
i love it that here i was able to be part of a "family"
i hate it that the unit's slowly falling out.
i love it cos i get to be independent.
but i hate the fact i'm often left on my own. alone and "out of reach".
i love it cos i get to learn new things. about me. and about the world around.
i hate it cos i know that new knowledge entails more responsibilities. far-out expectations.
i love it cos i've seen myself grow and mature.
but just the same, i hate it cos a part of me is dying.
i love it cos i never thought i could do things that i'm doing now.
but i hate the fact that (i maybe) spreading myself too thinly.
i love it cos i know that i'm putting my "knowledge" to something of good use.
i hate it cos some don't seem to see the effort that i'm putting in.
but even if that's the case, i love it cos i feel fulfilled.
though i hate that at the end of the day, i'm pooped and unimaginably drained.
i love it cos it did entail perks that were rather unexpected
i hate it cos most of them are intangible. unseen to the human eye.
should i be more practical?
cos i really hate the part where i can't seem to claim what is due me.

is it worth the sacrifice? leaving the confines of my comfort zone?
"pushing yourself to the limits? squeezing yourself till there's nothing left?"

love-hate. save yourself. while there's still something left...