*poof*

i had the weirdest dream,
so vivid and lucid.
everything was so fluid,
yet solid at the same time.
things seemed to fit,
they all fell into place.

that weird kind of peace,
faintest hint of trouble.
what does this all mean, i asked.

(clock) alarmed.
*poof* it became koko krunch!

happened between the 27th and 28th

up a notch or two

((yesterday))

it caught my eye, among the stack
an upgraded version
gawked at it endlessly
examined its every feature
secretly hoping it IS mine
"when will it be mine...
will it ever be mine?"

((today)) on a more solemn note
sfx: dramatic song playing ala loving yours...

2009 just started
and i've intermittently heard
news of death. families, bereaved
loved ones crossing the bridge
to an after life
makes me realize
how life is uncertain
pause for a moment,
heave a prayer of peace and comfort
may God bless their souls...

((tomorrow))

is saturday. the day after friday.
just stating the obvious.
i heart weekends!

I say: get back to work!!!!!!!!!

random thought x: emoment

dark clouds hovering.
thoughts whirr.
head thuds.
migraine attack!

life ahead, daunting.
heart palpitates.
chest tightens.
hyperventilate.

uncertainty looming.
distressed.
redirecting.
hope glimmers...


(i say: "say what? emo-moment right there. pffft. let the cycle stop.")

deciphering me

when i feel life is effed up.
or i seem at a lost.
in constant search.

i know that there's a Greater Being, watching me.
Holding my life in His Great Hands. Waiting. waiting.
With utter patience, He's leading me back to His path...
___________________________________________

"Friend, it's getting late, we should be going
We have sat here beneath these flickering neons for hours.
While I am cracking their code, you are deciphering me
For I am a mystery, I am a locked room in a tall tower.

Oh can you feel the gravity falling, calling us home?
Oh did you see the stars colliding? Shining just to show,
We belong.
We belong.

Your telescope eyes see everything clearly
My vision is blurred but I know what I heard
Echoing all around.
Well I am telling you and you are deciphering me.
Not such a mystery, not such a faint and far away sound.

Oh can you feel the gravity falling? Calling us home?
Oh did you see the stars colliding? Shining just to show,
We belong.
We belong.

Its love, its love that holds us
We will be alright

Its truth, its truth that shows us
As we walk in this life."


Artist: Brooke Fraser
Album: Albertine (2006)
Song: Deciphering Me

requisite year-end post (and i know this came a tad late)

i know i'm such an emo.
and no, i don't mean those in tight pants, striped pull-overs, chucks or skimmers. in heavy eyeliners, disheveled hair kind of people we see that increase in blown proportions.

emo. as in, emotional.
one minute your happy, irritated the next, then sullen afterwards.
am i turning into a looney? i hope not.

but i know that i do have mood swings. and i almost threw a fit on the day 2008 meets 2009.
how great can that get?

thank God, i got spared from my own personal drama.
i am such a drama queen. and i know that people are just trying their best to put up with me, and i'm just soooo grateful that they could do that.

i know that i'm a difficult person to deal with, but still, God has blessed me with loved ones and friends who patiently stood by my side. thanks for always, always lending an ear - spending loads of your time trying to dissect life's situations with me. i heart you for doing that, it's a pretty tough job though...

thanks for sticking up with my unpredictabilities - if there's such a thing.
it's hard to be too volatile, erratic, unconventional, it's hard to be me.
i sometimes feel like giving up on myself and my complexities. me and my overanalytic frame. it's tiring. and i know that i don't need to convince you, otherwise.

basta, i'm super grateful for everyone who came close enough to see the real emo me.
as embarrassing as it may sound, i'm so touched for going through all the effort. promise.

i thank God for always putting me back on track. i know that i've been pretty much on a rollercoaster, but He's always helped me stay on top of things... and He's used people to make me realize that.

well, i just pray that this year would be less of a drama. i want to try to be sunnier this time!
^^