Liberate

There goes the balloon, with your name written on it.
It struggles against the wind, as if it wanted to break free.
Aimlessly, it floats in the sky, then I was told I was tugging it back.
Heaved a rather heavy sigh, prayed a silent prayer with tears in my eyes.
I opened my hand and the balloon slowly inched away. Released.
The balloon was released, it freely flew away.

It flew so faraway, far far away... and then a loud sound came. Pop!

(I woke up from a rather strange dream, I wonder what it means...)

To ponder, pensively...

Hmmm. Quite redundant if you ask me.

But seriously, have you ever caught yourself staring off?

As if in deep thought, but really there's nothing in your head?

Or have you wondered about the most trivial of things?

Searching for a philosophical retort?

Have you ever answered questions like...

What is the current phase of the moon?

Have you ever planted a tree?

How far is it to the nearest star?

Which way does the wind blow?

How deep is the nearest ocean?

Which way is up?

How far is it from time to time?

Couldn't really give you a straight answer, IF you ask me.

I might just shrug my shoulder. Or roll my eyes on you.

Or walk away? nah. too rude.

But to ask such things means you're pondering.

To ponder is to wonder at a deep level.

Searching for answers. Or simply unraveling new discoveries.

It's not the meaning OF life. It's the meaning IN life.

Instead of looking for answers, accept the answers being given you.

Am I making sense? I really don't know.

((Is this a side effect ofsort? Have I had too much Fulghum, it's seething through every fiber of my being? Haha, very funny.))

From my little black book...

Garbled a year or two ago, i think.

I wrote:

Hey, it's been a while...

I practically thought this line got cut.

'twas weird altogether,

things picking up speed

then a sudden halt.

Who ended what?

Uncertainties loomed

Paralyzed us even

Who's gonna flinch,

move by the inch?

Hey, look...

we're back at square one.

Start clean, as things began.

Here's another one...

Here's another one of those goodbyes.

But this one right here is well, temporary.

I need to sit this one out.

Give it some deep thought.

Set things clear.

PRAY. Think. Act.

Did I say, it's just temporary?

Mental note!

I had the most interesting conversation this morning.
Just when I was divulging certain snippets of my life,
a bit of those "dark" clouds started dissipating.

When will you ever learn? I was asked, several times.
When will I ever learn, I asked myself. When will I ever learn???

I believe that God creates those moments in our lives to teach us.
And He would plant them several times, until those things get through every crack of your stubborn brain. But it's more than just thinking about it, I need to step out and act...

Lord, help me trust in You.
I know that I don't share much about this side of life, but You see my heart.
You know what's in it, You know my desires.
Lord, shake me from my hardheadedness. I thank You for Your patience.
Help me. I'm willing to take the steps, the way You want me to...
Lead me. Help me see things the way You do.
Keep me still, allow me to hear, listen to you.
Take my heart...