12.26.2007

i just want to be happy

if i were to die the next day.
i'd ask God to grant me this one wish.

i wish i could be a child again.

carefree. shallow. pure. innocent. fearless.
inquisitive. persevering. unbelievably optimistic.
playful. fun-loving. easy to please. without complexities...

i'd wish i could be a five-year old again (with the power to teleport and speak various languages)
but carrying all the "wisdom" i've gained from the two decades i've existed.
i'd use my "super powers" to reach heights. explore the deepest depths.
talk to people and learn about their cultures. values and beliefs. their ideologies.

in doing so. i've at least tried to understand the world around. without biases.
objective. but from a child's vantage point - playful and light.

then i'd write about it. before shuteye.
make the world know of it, before i die...

(pwede kaya yun magkatotoo? hmmm. ang daming "dreams" ko ang pwedeng matupad. mag-travel at malaman ang world culture. makapagsalita ng mga lenggwahe. at magsulat ng libro...
ayos. pero in effect, Lord, hindi ko pa talaga gustong mamatay bukas ha? what if scenario lang yun. you know what i mean...)

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bittersweet

on life.
ephemeral. seize the day.
wallow. sulk and lose all the good life has to offer.
bask. in moderation. you're responsible with the life you lead.
i wish life was as simple. but it's not.
bitter.sweet.

on love.
boys will be boys.
different "makes" but could they (still) be one and the same?
one minute you're friends. then foes, the next.
they come and go. when would someone choose to stay?
bitter. sweet.

career.
you toil to live. live to toil.
seek for bliss in the midst of dreadfully overlapping tasks.
little did you know "work" enslaves you.
you need a breather, in order to live. but can you handle it?
bitter.sweet.


personal issues. will it ever end?
if only i could be pulled out of here in a snap...

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12.14.2007

"i want to be..."

i've never idolized anyone in my entire life.
well, not exactly like a five-year old chirping, "i want to be like so-and-so when i grow up..."

but i ogle at this friend's specific writing style with envy.
(and the list of my "literary idols" is quite short if i may add)

his (writing) style is animated. concise. descriptive.
simple but meaty
(with real chunks alright!).

crisp. that's a better word.
snapping with pizzazz.
and guess what, "meron siyang nabola", as he puts it.


"i wish i could write like him when i grow up..."
(and he promised to mentor me. though indirectly. promise parin yun ha!:D)

12.10.2007

what is life about?

sometimes.
in the very few moments that i get to ponder about life. mine or theirs...
i came to wonder, " what is this life all about? "
countless what ifs...
limitless would've beens...
things that arise simply because life is not as predictable.
i'd like to believe that it isn't always what we think it is.
i guess the beauty that "surprises" bring is the fact that you still wouldn't know how things would turn out even if you choose your own adventure.
i'm not gonna fall into a spiritual-slash-philosophical drama right about now.
but instead stir your thoughts on that simple question.
"what is life about?"
what defines your existence? is it really all worth it in the end?
how do you feel at the end of the day? are we spurred or spun?
what makes you hold on to dear life? was it beneficial to me alone?
how about them? do i even care about them in the process?
WHAT NOW?
the questions are endless. like a child who would often ask why (yes, and it comes one after the other), life is about learning from the past, living in the present, and "preparing" for the future... a vicious cycle some might say. like a lab rat running around in a gyroscope, life is an eternal journey.
as these transpire in the premise that we've "lived and learned from every inch of experience". be it mundane or eventful, sucky, happy, or sappy. horrendous or fabulous.
life is pretty ironic when you come to think of it.
and yes, i'm as "lost" as you are.
aack.

12.09.2007

"and she just had to say it"

in reconnaisance: i stumbled upon this article from peyups.

it's pretty weird how she was able to verbalize my very reason for being "unattached". well, vaguely if i may add. well, we all have our reasons. i wouldn't want to recant mine coz it might strain your eyes from an epic-like entry. and i know i'd sound like a broken record if i'd do.

just a thought though, in the advent of "feminism". as more and more "womyn" are empowered, i guess, it makes the "love" part of life a little less of a priority.

no, i'm not a cynic. i aspire for that "kind of life" but not now. well, not until i'm done with some other things. i guess i agree that "waiting" is part of it. but i'm not speaking of a passive kind of waiting. it's more of a waiting-as-you-are-a-work-in-progress kind of thing.

"hindi ako hipokrita". of course, basta. i'd be there, in that kind of sitch.

my sweet time would come.

12.08.2007

for the sake of crossposting :|

i believe there's something wrong with multiply-blogger crossposting
(well, atleast for my account AND/OR my network is "restricted")

but if this would interest you, i'd like to lead you to one of my many experiences at work.
it's been a month-old entry i think you'd "love" to see. go ahead and click the links if you please.

my "front seat" perspective on a rather momentous event at Faraway land.

i was thisclose to PGMA. yep, i could even lift her hair if wished. (take the hint of sarcasm right there)


12.06.2007

:) all i want i want for Christmas...

i don't usually blurt out stuff i want. (yup, that's the whole crude truth of it all)
IN FACT, i have a hard time "pinpointing" stuff.

but since it's Christmas, and the "spirit of giving" is everywhere...
i guess it won't hurt to join the bandwagon after all.

note: to my good friends, you now know how to win my heart. bwahahahahaha.

random stuff. listed based on my train of thought. this doesn't come in hierarchy whatsoever.

> Altec Lansing Speakers for my Player (Creative Speakers are good too:D)
> backpack OR a travelbag with tons of compartments (preferrably handcarry)
> coffee tumbler from Starbucks (i need to change my old one actually)
> vintage jacket (or Adidas Jacket - Football edition)
> Shopping money (GCs:D)
> Haviis (slim season or basic in choco/dark brown base; high light, in dark colors please)
> Samsung E530 battery (purple combo)
> 2GB XD picture card for Olympus Digital Camera
> 80 to 160GB external hard drive
> shoes (cutesy flats in fab colors and concepts)
> kikay stuff ( i. e. lip & cheek tint AND body butter from body shop; victoria's secret lotion; stuff from bath & body works)
> watch (hmmm. somewhere between classy and sporty)
> Creative Zen V Plus accessories (i. e. arm strap, silicon case, car adaptor)
> books (hmmm. something you think is worth-reading)
> Notebook or Laptop computer (take me with you, i know the specs that i need/want)
> PDA fone (handy version of the notebook, again, take me with you)
> travel pillow (something with the beanie feel)
> breathable contact lenses (it's about time i change mine)
> A new pair of specs (take me with you for refraction of the lenses)
> a day at the Spa (massage, body scrub, the works:D)
> HipHop Abs (the whole set:D)

> i'll sleep through the night. let's see if the list would grow longer, okoy?

QUESTION: am i requiring too much stuff?
hmmm. those in bold letters are those that i ACTUALLY need.
you can disregard the rest, they're just whims.

techie stuff, like the speakers et cetera, are just some of my "projects" put on hold.
but it'd be good if you'd help me "acquire" them.


so what do you want for Christmas?

12.04.2007

xANONYMOUSx

phone ringing: Jason Mraz, Clockwatching as my ringer.

(ANONYMOUS)
Hello?
Hi miss, pwedeng makipag-phonepal?
Hello?!? (then i rejected the call)

Gahd. that scared the hell out of me.
troubled thoughts.

phone rang once more.

(ANONYMOUS)
Hello?
Hello, armida?
Sino to? Sino ka? (me thinking. long pause)
Ohmygod. Ian? IAN!!!!
Oi, kamusta na?

and the rest was endless "minutes" of catching up.
laughtrip. quips between friends. exchanges of kamusta na? how's life? et cetera.

we reminisced about highschool. teased about those days when the rico-miday love team was still alive. exchanged quips again.

it was good to hear from a "childhood" friend. childhood ba ang highschool?
talking to mr. mariano was a breather from my mundane day at work.
too bad our conversation was cut short coz my phone was out of battery. darn it.
talk about perfect timing, just as i was fishing about his "lovelife and all"... and he was about to spill the beans. ngar. :\

ian, tawag ka ulit. isakto mo na work hours para "perfect" timing.
awwww. nakakamiss ka. come home na and be with the rest of the gang.
(tight hug coz i haven't seen you for the longest time...)

just a thought: i super thank God for giving me such great friends. we mean no distance, and communication lines are kept alive. may He allow for all of us to meet. hhhmm. our "Israel" plans. may it push through...

this was a super duper cool surprise. i heart it!:)

12.03.2007

pilay

i am TEMPORARILY saying good-bye to my "multiply life".
no more uploading of photo ops.
not if i can get away with it.
so much for my photo documentation:(

i can't even blog directly on blogger.
sigh.

i have been paralyzed.
stupid IT policy.
let me re-phrase that, darn that EXAGGERATED IT policy.

you know what, not everyone goes to nasty sites and all.
well, at least not me. the worldwide web keeps me sane.
thank you for disrupting my only outlet for sanity.
bleh.

my very own effort for pleading a leeway.
let's not be stiff with the rule.
cyberspace has the positive-side as perks as well.
believe me...