shift to "pensive" mode

Liberate

2011-09-27T14:21:00.002+08:00

There goes the balloon, with your name written on it.
It struggles against the wind, as if it wanted to break free.
Aimlessly, it floats in the sky, then I was told I was tugging it back.
Heaved a rather heavy sigh, prayed a silent prayer with tears in my eyes.
I opened my hand and the balloon slowly inched away. Released.
The balloon was released, it freely flew away.

It flew so faraway, far far away... and then a loud sound came. Pop!

(I woke up from a rather strange dream, I wonder what it means...)

To ponder, pensively...

2011-08-12T21:27:00.005+08:00

Hmmm. Quite redundant if you ask me.

But seriously, have you ever caught yourself staring off?

As if in deep thought, but really there's nothing in your head?

Or have you wondered about the most trivial of things?

Searching for a philosophical retort?

Have you ever answered questions like...

What is the current phase of the moon?

Have you ever planted a tree?

How far is it to the nearest star?

Which way does the wind blow?

How deep is the nearest ocean?

Which way is up?

How far is it from time to time?

Couldn't really give you a straight answer, IF you ask me.

I might just shrug my shoulder. Or roll my eyes on you.

Or walk away? nah. too rude.

But to ask such things means you're pondering.

To ponder is to wonder at a deep level.

Searching for answers. Or simply unraveling new discoveries.

It's not the meaning OF life. It's the meaning IN life.

Instead of looking for answers, accept the answers being given you.

Am I making sense? I really don't know.

((Is this a side effect ofsort? Have I had too much Fulghum, it's seething through every fiber of my being? Haha, very funny.))

From my little black book...

2011-08-12T19:07:00.002+08:00

Garbled a year or two ago, i think.

I wrote:

Hey, it's been a while...

I practically thought this line got cut.

'twas weird altogether,

things picking up speed

then a sudden halt.

Who ended what?

Uncertainties loomed

Paralyzed us even

Who's gonna flinch,

move by the inch?

Hey, look...

we're back at square one.

Start clean, as things began.

Here's another one...

2011-07-15T15:28:00.001+08:00

Here's another one of those goodbyes.

But this one right here is well, temporary.

I need to sit this one out.

Give it some deep thought.

Set things clear.

PRAY. Think. Act.

Did I say, it's just temporary?

Mental note!

2011-05-26T09:46:00.002+08:00

I had the most interesting conversation this morning.
Just when I was divulging certain snippets of my life,
a bit of those "dark" clouds started dissipating.

When will you ever learn? I was asked, several times.
When will I ever learn, I asked myself. When will I ever learn???

I believe that God creates those moments in our lives to teach us.
And He would plant them several times, until those things get through every crack of your stubborn brain. But it's more than just thinking about it, I need to step out and act...

Lord, help me trust in You.
I know that I don't share much about this side of life, but You see my heart.
You know what's in it, You know my desires.
Lord, shake me from my hardheadedness. I thank You for Your patience.
Help me. I'm willing to take the steps, the way You want me to...
Lead me. Help me see things the way You do.
Keep me still, allow me to hear, listen to you.
Take my heart...

2011-05-25T22:15:00.000+08:00

Another one of those goodbyes...

2011-05-25T12:58:00.004+08:00

25May2011, Wednesday
In one of my "discussions" with a friend.

So you haven't blogged for a while? How about those thoughts in your head? Your creative stories?
Well, they're just in a list. I feel so uninspired (to write).
Uninspired or busy? What inspires you to write then?
Hmmm. It just happens...

(Let's skip the other parts. Simply put, my friend "wrote" something and I thought of "using" it as an inspiration to complete this entry)

I think this friend somehow compelled me to write.
Write!

And I'm using his direct quote to cap this entry, as I'm saying goodbye and hello to certain bits of my life...

"So this is how it feels. I still recall every crack, every tack, every nick on the table. But I have to move on. Leave the past behind along with the people who hem me in. Freedom greets me at my new place replacing all the emotional turmoil I felt at my old place."

I had to do this to claim my peace, a grip on my sanity.
Give me my take on isolation. This is it for me.
I'm doing this halfheartedly, but I need to say goodbye.

Too melodramatic?
I know right?!?

and so I turned a year older...

2011-04-01T23:42:00.002+08:00

I know that I should at least post a blog every year I turn "plus one".

So here it is.

I did nothing special. But spent the day spring cleaning, it was cathartic.

No themed parties, just a hefty meal with the family. Enjoyed from breakfast, lunch, til dinner. Not only that, I sat down and listed 27 things I'm grateful for.

I felt so blessed. Big or small things, God has been so faithful, I feel so loved.

(Contents would be kept in ambiguity, oh blimey! haha)

Oh, and to tell you quite frankly, I suddenly lost that eeeky urge to say "I'm a year older", begrudgingly.

Finally, I've matured. :)

I think.

On my most favorite of days...

2011-03-05T19:12:00.003+08:00

If there's a day in a year I secretly dread, it's V-day.

I know I've written countless accounts, rants about this "special" day.

but hey, things can turn around right?

Well, V-day is not only for lovers and kishy-kishy couples.

Friends can show love on this day too, right?

And that's what my friend from the States did.

She's the sweetest. Well, she's the head of our team at work.

In fact, she's my International counterpart. And having her come over the country was a cool experience, and it built closer ties between us.

That's why I was so surprised that she sent me a V-day gift.

I'm not a fan of fluffy things, but this one was cute, it sang a quirky song.

And as a sign of gratitude, I sent her this card.

And as a reply, she tagged me on this photo...

She really is the sweetest. We still keep in touch, outside work-related stuff, that is.

[ Oh, for the record, I gave the singing bear to my 6-year old cousin coz she really liked it.

So, thank for making the both of us happy, MA! :) ]

I'm that old already?

2010-11-20T12:50:00.009+08:00

One day, while I was out on field work. Some random person texted and asked me to talk at their career orientation.

"What? Is this serious?" (thinking out loud, yes. I wanted to retort, Am I that old already?)

Wait a minute, it's been 5 years since I graduated from college, is that enough ticket to be part of the panelists? I had a bit of hesitation, but knowing that my friendsss highly recommended me for this... and of course, it's a great honor to be invited and all, I said a hearty, YES! :)

And knowing how I am, I wanted to make my 30-minute stint memorable. So, yes, though crammed, I whipped up a montage of memories to serve as my AV as I talk.

Here's how it looks like

(well, i'm not sure if you'd see this, it's a slideshow whipped up on ppt. Click the link:D)

Then, we've answered numerous questions flying here and there. Twas an interesting experience. But the best part of it all, when those "kids" came up to me and said, "You've inspired me...", or "I really wanted to work for an NGO", or "I want to be like you when I grow up".

WOOOOOW! Well, some of it may not be their exact words, but they were close, as how I remembered them. I was blown away. God was full of quirky surprises, and I got so floored on this one. Who would've thought that my experiences would've led into this beautiful montage, a well-crafted story.

Indeed, God is amazing. And all I did was tread that unfamiliar path which opened countless doorways of new knowledge and experiences. The good part? Well, there's so much more to unravel!

Oh, I also thank my good friend, Tanya, my first ever friend in college, who helped me get this fun stint.

imagine

2010-10-14T14:46:00.003+08:00

Imagine yourself in the hot seat.

Gahd, what a frightening thought.

BAM!

The little girl was in that same sticky scenario.
How did we end up here? she frantically asked. What am i doing here? Why am I here?
She couldn't open her mouth. Mustered every ounce of strength to do so.
And as she did, words came out wrongly from her puny lips.

The little girl was antsy, switching seats from this side to the other.
She couldn't sit up straight. Compulsively reached for the cleanser and frantically rubbed her hands to keep it clean. Wait, my hands are squeaky clean, she thought to herself.

Uncomfortable. Awkward. She felt like 'twas a trap.
She tried to take deep, long breaths. Deep breaths that come out as heavy sighs.
Speedy darts were headed her direction, too fast for her to even nudge.
I want out. Let me out. This ain't fun anymore. I WANT OUT!, her thoughts were struggling.

As the insides of her were screaming maniacally, her eyes snapped open.

Thank God, 'twas just a dream...

are we still in the 70s?!?

2010-10-14T14:30:00.002+08:00

I usually deviate from political rants, but i can't let this one pass.

One early morning, emphasis on EARLY, on my way to work.
I overheard an interesting exchange over the radio, well, i often keep my opinions mum, especially when i travel early and hitch a ride.

But this day's news was beyond outrageous.
Do they seriously think giving away money would help defeat POVERTY?!?
Say, throw away Php 21 BILLION for a conditional cash transfer. Provide a measly amount per family to help them live the day?

What ever happened to old saying,
"Give man a fish and let him live a day. Teach him HOW TO FISH, and he'll live a lifetime."

Sometimes, I wonder what runs in the heads of the higher ups.
Can someone please tighten the screws in their moronic heads?
Good grief, everyone knows that this specific solution ain't the way to go.
Dole out is a definite no-no. It's never gonna hit the problem, and it ain't sustainable :(

It's been how long since our dear President sat in his post, and what has he been doing?
Misjudgments and whatnot. I wonder what would take place in the coming days.
(Yup, I'm not PRO-PNOY, but I'm trying to think logically and I'm saying these things as a concerned citizen.)

Lord, help us see the light and trust You in this. We love our country.
I love the Philippines, and it pains me to see us looking like this... Please let Your grace be upon us.

on a lazy Saturday...

2010-10-02T14:24:00.003+08:00

I woke up this day on an unusual "perky" note.

Better max this juiced up mode.

So, as I was staring at our stash, a lightbulb moment came on!

ORGANIZE 'EM TRINKETS!

Oh yes, some of you might find this funny.

But to me, fixing, organizing, and arranging things is sheer heaven.

If only i'd have my own space to fix and label... it'd be paradise.

Haha.

Oh, and because I'm weird as is. I took snaps of this "fun" activity.

Check this link :)

here goes miss random...

2010-09-22T00:21:00.004+08:00

what would you feel if everyone around you is tying the knot? or at least is planning to?

hmmm.

pressured?
confused?
frustrated even?

peaceful? are you for real?
yup, as surreal as it may sound, i'm saying peaceful.
i guess there's peace when you rest in His will.

things would fall into place in His time.
even if the pragmatic-me would say, you're just saying that 'coz you still got a lot of time.

well, that could be true. but I'm a firm believer that things come about if it is His will.
He sees our hearts, and knows our deepest desires, He loves us to top it all.

So, fear not.
Who knows you might be next...

isang tagpo, ika-16 ng Setyembre 2010

2010-09-21T23:59:00.002+08:00

akalain mong ang kailangan mo lang pala ay huminga ng malalim, at lunukin ang lahat ng alintana upang makarating sa paruroonan.

"ganon lang pala kadali?" ang sambit niya, "bakit pinatagal ko pa?"

"diba, ilang steps lang hindi mo pa magawa..." dugtong ng kasama.

"kasi natakot ako," sabay hinga, "ikaw kaya ang maging guilty, sa tingin mo, kaya mo ba?"

dalawang magkaibigang pawang nagtatalo na hindi maintindihan. pawang isang nanumbalik na ugnayang nawala kamakailan lang.

"sana maayos na ito..." paulit-ulit niyang hinihiling, sa kanyang mga pabulong na panalangin.

"sana maayos na, hindi na yata nararapat na ito'y patagalin pa. anong gagawin ko? lahat na ng bagay ay nagawa ko na..."

(lahat? sigurado ka bang lahat? pero sa dulo ng kanyang pag-iisip, may isa pang bagay na naghihintay na makamit)

natapos ang mga araw, gabi, mga lingo ng tulirong isipan. natanggap niya sa sariling maaaring hindi na manumbalik ang kinagisnan.

mapait, pero maaaring maging makatotohanan. prepare yourself for the worst. yan ang naglalaro sa isipan ngunit di mo pa rin maikukubli na siya ay umaasang maayos rin ang lahat.

umaasa. umaasa na sa bawat paraan, merong tugon na nakaambang. binubuksan. binubuksan ang sarili sa sakit na kakabit ng bawat hakbang.

ang mga lingo ay naging buwan. buwan? umabot na ng buwan? tila may boses sa kanyang kaibuturan na nais nang mapakawalan.

wag mo nang palampasin ang araw na ito. gawin na ang dapat gawin.

sa kanyang pag-iisa, muli siyang bumulong ng isang hiling, "Lord, bigyan mo ako ng hudyat, at ano ang aking sasabihin..."

pagbalik niya sa kanyang silya, pawang may mensaheng nakaambang, "wag mo nang patagalin. gawin na ang dapat gawin"

napapikit na lamang siya. at tinuon ang kanyang paa."this is it," sambit sa ulo niya. isang hakbang. dalawa at nakatatlo pa.

pilit niyang iniabot ang munting tangan sa mga kamay.

"ano yan?", pawang nagtataray, may pagtatakang sambit ng kanyang kasama.

"wala lang... sorry", kasabay ng huling pantig pumatak ang unang matabang luha.

kasabay ng mga luha, unti-unting nabasag ang pader na tila nakahambalang sa kanilang dalawa.

pawang may isang magnetic force na nagdikit sa magkaibigan, mahigpit na yakapang sinundan ng tawanan.

"wag ka ngang umiyak, baka sabihin nila inaaway kita..."

"bakit ba? hayaan muna!"

sabay punas ng kanilang mga mata. muling nagyakap ng mahigpit, at tumawa. pawang mga loka-loka.

kapatawaran. kapatawarang matagal na niyang inaasam.

katahimikan. katahimikang nabasag at tuluyang nadurog sa kawalan.

pasasalamat. pasasalamat sa Diyos sa kalakasan, tibay ng loob na ituloy pa ang "laban".

pagkakaibigan. pagkakaibigan na tunay ngang kay halaga't puno ng lubos na pagmamahalan.

pagmamahalan na sa kabila ng mga pasakit ay taos-puso pa ring dumadaloy sa kanilang mga buhay.

minsan kahit anong paghahanda pa ang isip-isipin, pagpa-planong nais mong gawin, may mga bagay talagang nangyayari sa mga di inaasahang pagkakataon. pagkakataon na pawang Diyos lang ang may tugon.

minsan hindi ang mga sulat o salita ang sagot o di kaya'y solusyon. kailangan ng aktibong pagkilos upang ang lahat ng ito'y matapos.

ang pagtayo. paghakbang. pag-abot ng kamay. pagyakap ng mahigpit. ang pagpatak ng luha. ang muling pagyakap. ang tawanan.

ang mga naging saksi ng kapatawaran. pero higit sa lahat ang pag-ibig na nasa puso ng magkaibigan, para sa isa't-isa, at sa Manlilikha ang muling nagbuklod at nagpatamis ng samahan.

tunay ngang walang huli para sa Kanya, Siya lang ang nakakaalam ng lahat ng bagay. hinihintay niya lang na tayo ay sumunod, tahakin ang lahat mula sa unang hakbang.

unang hakbang patungo sa isang tagpo noong ika-16 ng Setyembre, ang araw ng panunumbalik ng masasayang kwentuhan, "iyakan at dramahan", tawanan at mga nalalabing sandali ng dalawang magkaibigan..

MFEO...

2010-07-17T23:50:00.000+08:00

...

to tell you quite frankly, my heart is breaking as write this entry.

Alfonso Tomas Araullo, aka Atom, has always been my biggest crush since i learned what the word meant. He was that dynamic kiddo in 5andUp. I remember, even planning to go for an audition in that show just so Atom would be within reach. (Yup, i'd like to think i've had such stalking tendencies. Haha!) Obviously, that plan didn't push through. So i just gazed at his boyish "beauty" in the confines of my room, as I spent much time watching tv.

Fast forward to college. My heart leaped when i found out I'd be studying in the same university he's in. Oh, the chance of seeing him, even bumping into him... Yes! Well, i think he was a couple of batches higher, but what the heck. Stealing glances at him, whenever I get the chance, really made my day... I reached "crush-hood heaven" when we became classmates in one of our GE classes, twas STS if I remembered it correctly. Well, the class was big, as in, audi-type huge, but still sharing about an hour and a half with him in the same room, two times a week, was elating. Haha! I'd like to believe that God was orchestrating something when our professor decided to go for group reporting, a huge bulk of our grade depended on it.

My mind started running, just thinking of the possibility that we could be in the same group. Think: meetings, brainstorming, after-school preps... the works! My friends incessantly prodded me to approach him and just ask the simple question, "Hi, Atom. Would you like to be our groupmate?" AND, being the "shy" girl that I was, I naturally chickened out.

Believe me, that "what-if" thought still haunts me to this day. I've still wondered what if I didn't chicken out, and mustered every ounce of courage to approach Atom and ask him to be our groupmate. We could've been friends to this day, well, acquaintances to say the least. But, I guess, God gave me the chance and I've let go of it. My bad.

Now that i've given you a bit of my (bitter) history. You wouldn't imagine how i felt and reacted when i found out that Atom and Patty are together, officially. Twas in GAME KNB? that Mr. Araullo spilled the bean, and yes, he's seeing someone, and it's Patty Laurel. (My world crumbled. And I've seen my slim chance dissipate into thin air. Goodbye, cruel world. I guess that's what you get for being ambisyosa... haha!)

Since then, I made a personal note to myself. Find Patty's blog and stalk her.

Don't get me wrong, I placed that on my list not to plant evil schemes on her, but I'd like to keep myself posted.

Well, as i visited her blog intermittently, I've learned that she's a fun-loving girl. And pretty much mababaw like me. She enjoys the simplest things in life. I have friends who have close ties with her so I'm not gonna go on bashing, for the life of me. Oh oh, she's a Southerner, so it's a plus. In short, I've grown fonder of her as she shared about mundane and quirky splices of her life.

I like the fact that she keeps her blog as honest and candid, like any "normal" person would. She shares about weird moments, her life's fancies, and of course, she spares a huge amount for her readers to pry about her "love life".

This specific entry, Who's Your Crush, really got me. Read on and you'll know what I mean.

Well, to this day, I officially concede to my lifelong dream. I guess, Atom and Patty were really meant for each other after all. It's just weird that she's living every girl's dream, well, she is living my dream, for that matter.

Let's just all wish them more years of togetherness. This couple really looks promising...

for what it's worth, I pray that in some cosmic universe, someone like Atom would cross my path. Lord, does Atom have a doppelganger ofsort? (I mean in the vernacular sense of the word, of course.) If so, please please please make our paths meet...

history does repeat itself....

2010-07-17T23:21:00.002+08:00

i tried to "forget" the whole ordeal, but i guess, it'd just resurface until we both decide to call it quits.

reached out through ways i know how, but i can't force myself to get that "favorable" response. with all due respect, i accepted your decision to keep mum.

been away for about a couple of weeks and more days in counting. some say it's the best time to let it simmer. but still uncertainty looms on the day of my return.

for some weird reason, i rummaged into mementos. gahd, we've had some "history". i can't take away the fact that we are the closest of friends. that's why it hurts sooo bad.

i just hope (and pray) that days would be brighter. i can't bring myself to carry this rift.

for what it's worth, i want you to know that i still hold you dear to me.

if only the wind can take this whole thing away... how good is it to think that as we wake up, we'll never remember "that day" ever happened.

but sigh, those things only happen in fairy tales...

this just got in

2010-05-07T12:47:00.004+08:00

The proverbial Juan dela Cruz has the Election 2010 cloud looming over his head.
Every Filipino's hopeful of what the 10th of May would bring.
Each one vouching for a different color, based on personal principles.

It pains to see our country's stark reality, as we Pinoys deal with things differently.
But three days from now, we should all make our stand. It's not only about who we'd vote, but who would win in the end, and most importantly, how we'd all stick up as a whole.
(and ultimately, we're all praying for the best 'cos after all, God is top of things:D)

on the same note, our CD sent this mail to everyone.
Just to shake your thoughts, if ever you'd make last minute changes.

On May 10, 2010 we will have the opportunity to choose the next leader of our nation. The Filipinos are always at the short-end of the stick each time a leader comes into power. Personally, I think we deserve it because we have been notorious for having short memories that's why we are allowing convicted felons to run again. We make decisions based on short term gains that's why a lot of people are selling their future by pawning their votes for a thousand pesos. We are so short-sighted that's why we are gulllible enough to believe the promises of politicians that there will be immediate relief when they are voted into power.

Lately, I found out that it is more difficult to hire a staff than to choose a President. We make sure that the person has four C's: A clear calling to be in full-time Christian service, competent and skilled, a character consistent with a disciple of Jesus Christ and may have a good chemistry with the rest of the team. No wonder we are in better shape than the Philippine government. Many of us will base our choices based on surname or family pedigree. I am the son of a Mom who is known as an outstanding school administrator even at 74 while my Dad is known for his integrity and brilliance as an engineer (board topnotcher for ME and EE, PEE and PME). But, I was hired as CD based on my own merits and was never asked how my parents fared in their respective careers. So let your choice of President stand on his or her own merits. As the saying goes, "the best judgment of performance is performance itself." Some will choose based on promises of immediate relief from poverty. If you believe this then you are as short-sighted and (excuse me)as stupid as millions of gullible Filipinos who swallow the promises hook, line and sinker. "The poor will always be with you" (Mark 14:7), the Bible says. So even the richest nations still have poor people with them that's why they are known as welfare states. Some of you will choose based on ethnocentric considerations. I need not explain this further but isn't this bigotry?

Please examine the basis of your choice. Pray about it. Your choice has the potential of bringing God's judgment or blessing on this country. The bottomline is this: Let everyone know who you voted for so that if your candidate wins you should feel responsible if he brings this country to the dogs or feel victorious and proud if he lifts the country out of poverty. Whoever wins, we are supposed to pray for that person (I Tim. 2:1-4) and submit to his authority (Rom. 13:1-7).

Time to pray, seek His will and ask for wisdom and guidance (James 1:5) because you will be held accountable for your choice.

(Lord, be in FULL control. We pray for an honest, open, and peaceful election...)

when surreal things seemed so real...

2010-05-07T09:36:00.003+08:00

it's odd.
i dreamt of you after x number of years.

didn't even know how i got into the picture.
twas like a bizarre scene from a movie that just popped out, unexplained.
the plot. the proverbial meet ze famille.
twas weird altogether.

there was this falling out bit. it pinched my heart.
but wasn't as immense as i remembered.
it's as if i couldn't care less...

could this be a premonition?
a "formal" goodbye? maybe...

just when i thought things were crystal clear.

((I say: i just felt like putting this in writing. cathartic? maybe, i don't know...))

BOOSTER!

2010-05-06T22:24:00.005+08:00

...
you probably had too much PEP blood run through your veins. even mentioned your head ringing from all the giddy cheers, and prolly the sound of the snare and bass drums.

greeted me in a perkier demeanor. (adik!)
"hung-over?" i asked.

oh, and if that's not enough, you wanted to mimic ze squad.
so you inquired, "so how's your thing going?"
i bragged about being "ahead" schedule.
(wasn't really the reply you were expecting, i presume.)

then you blurted out that lightbulb moment of yours.
i quipped, "go ahead do your cheer..."
"you wouldn't see the hand movements" you retorted.
"draw it?" i slightly suggested.

to cut the story short. you took the hint "seriously".
and came up with this "crude" product (well, as you put it, being meek and all). it's amusing, i must say.
and yup, it did help lift my spirits. naks:)

astig siya, and it's an understatement.
thanks a bunch!

finders, keepers

2010-04-17T23:40:00.004+08:00

"when you find them. you gotta keep 'em!"

i'm almost turning two in this (not so) new world.

and whenever i look back on memories and fondest moments, God seem to lead me to the friendships i've built along the way.

and so i just felt like dedicating this whole blog to you, my twinny^^

we came in together in this new world. a bit uncertain with the people around us.

you, being the natural conversationalist, started to chat. and things welled up from there. from commute-buddies, we discovered how we shared the same interests in movies, fashion, and whatnot.

i love doing cheap thrills with you, and exploring our "peculiar and artsy" taste on things.

though seasons weren't always rosy and daisy, we tried to put our differences aside and be the bigger (wo)man. we took our opinions at face value and respected each other's take on honesty. we've "matured" in this friendship together, and I thank the Lord for that.

(yes, i wouldn't delve into the horrid details)

i like how we're learning to become sensitive to each other's idiosyncrasies. friendship does mean adjusting, yielding, and understanding. i appreciate your generosity be it on things big or small. you are one thoughtful friend, and i wouldn't know how to repay your kindness.

and as we turn two (in two months), i pray for God to just bless the work of your hands. May He hold your heart so that it'd remain pure and passionate for His service. Continually touch people's lives and share that positive vibe.

(bawal na ang emo. or sobrang analytical... haha!)

May He grant your heart's desires and enlighten you to His perfect will.

Hang tight, His promises would blow you away ^^

Oh dearie, i just felt like putting pieces together. Aack, cheesy much?!?

Let's take more snaps when we hang(out) for docu purposes. ha-ha!

I thank God for giving you as my soul sister, a trusty confidante, an honest konsensya, and saying that we're really good friends is definitely an understatement.

Here's to more odd-ventures! (pretend we're holding flutes with champagne...clink)

i wish i'm still a teenager.

2010-04-17T03:58:00.001+08:00

in moments like these, i sometimes wish i'm still a teener.
HELLOOOOO, SUMMER VACAY!!!!!!!!

in the spirit of (much) vanity

2010-04-17T01:10:00.005+08:00

do you still remember my previous post?
well, if you keep track of my whatnots, this would seem a tad familiar.
yup, the early part of this year, i sorta posted options for my new haircut.
and so i headed to toandj, and tried their services out of sheer curiosity.

i was giddy. giddy-excited. i've always wanted to try new things, and hair-o-glyphics is definitely part of the list. and so there i was, waiting for my turn. thank God twing tagged along, i wouldn't survive the jitters if not for her. imagine, sitting there for more than an hour just so you could get your hair nipped. gah, so much for "vanity".

i was secretly practicing what to say. well, 'cos apparently, the stylist is pure korean and i wouldn't want things to get lost in translation. haha. OC-much, i know. i brought photos just so i could explain myself better.

and there he was, examining my hair. its strand, bounce factor and whatnot. oh, and he was sorta perplexed. apparently, he couldn't understand why i'm opting for the "natural look" when everyone around me was battling for stick-straight hair. i even remember him saying "all curly?" and i proudly said, a big, fat "YES!"

oh, he strongly recommended one of my top3 options. i was so elated. i can feel my cheekbones rising. haha.

(fyi: i actually wanted (1) nicole richie's hairstyle. (2) ze style he chose. (3) that kor-look, lower left corner)

i sat on the beauty chair, awe-stricken. wow, so much for edward scissorhands-ish talent.
i literally saw parts of my hair fly off, as he speedily goes through them, part by part.
i couldn't wait to see the results. anticipation got the best of me, after a quick 15-minute snip showdown, my hair was done! i couldn't be more happier (more na, happier pa!).
i got the cut i want at a much lower price (yup, thanks to the Christmas season, they had salon promos^^)

mission accomplished! i left toandj with a big smile on my (pretty) face. ha-ha! a satisfied customer?
DEFINITELY! i think i've found home.

oh here's the result (pardon my camwhore merments).

can i just say, it's been three months since i had that cut, and i'm still loving my hair... very much! weeeee^^

here and there

2010-04-06T13:39:00.006+08:00

i once was told that i write in my blog sporadically.

as much as i want to update my good ole friend,

time seems to be an elusive element.

i write for more reasons than one.

i write to keep my senses awake (well, this usually happens at work)

i write to release work tension (noticed digression comes during crunch time).

i write to blurt out pent emotions (be it happy, sad, glad, mad. ha-ha)

i write when i feel i can't talk to people (at least for the time being)

i write about my observations, opinions, and whatnots.

i write because i feel i express myself better this way.

i write not because i'm EMO.

i write because i want to.

there are tons of things i want to write.

write about:

(1) ~~recent kikay purchase (hello, pricey 2-in-one powder)~~

(2) ~~trip to the toandj salon~~

(3) ~~rekindled relationship with a twin ^^~~

(4) ze day i turned a year older (but wiser, i hope)

more to come, you wish!

((i say: all i read was WRITE. ha-ha))

And the clock strikes twelve!

2010-04-01T23:52:00.008+08:00

A few minutes more and I'm officially 26. Yup, two-six, indeed.

A year older, so what?

Year after year, I'm beginning to accept the fact that yes, we turn a year older.

Yes, we may be a year wiser. But no, we don't need to look our age. :)

As I'm putting a cap to this special day, some of my friends are still here loungin'.

But since this birthday post is a requisite, allow me to sit and click away.

I've been so blessed with friends. Thanks to technology, they've been more generous with their greetings. (But I still miss those days you get countless calls from your friends, as they greet you a joyous, Happy Birthday, and ask, so, what are you having? Oh, good old days.)

Anyway, here are some sweet notes and what nots from my friendly friends :)

Here's one:

another...

and another...

but wait there's more... What's a birthday, without a celebration right?

So, there... Just waiting a few minutes till the clock strike 12:01!

Hello to me, only a year older :)

Happy Birthday!

twas official! ^^

2010-02-15T15:18:00.003+08:00

sometime between january and february.
i was out in the mall, frolicking in an unfamiliar territory.
yup, i used to be a "make-up phobe". i get dizzy when kikay discussions deepen and all.

but i guess i have to shun my old ways and face the fact that...
number one: i'm a girl
number two: i'm slowly getting into "womanhood"
number three: that make-up is part of life
number four: i have to learn how to do it myself
number five: DOING MAKE-UP IS A LIFE SKILL (i should internalize).

and so like a baby learning how to walk. i tread to the shop i've been eyeing on.
VMV Hypoallergenics. and stayed there to orient myself.
in all honesty, i've been very much convinced on their line of products, BUT apparently, they're not that "pocket-friendly". gah, the costs you have to pay for having (hyper)sensitive skin.

so with a much convinced mind but tight-fisted hands, i bought my first KIKAY purchase with my eyes shut. (my heart was racing, my mind rambling... thoughts of stuff i could buy with that sum of money flowed through me. waaah! i must resist, i must... kaching!)

and since this is very monumental to my simple life. i took the liberty to take snaps of it.
(cos i'm sentimental like that. haha!)

re-read your life.

2010-01-22T16:14:00.002+08:00

i was re-reading into my blog archive.
i just find it weird reading stuff i've written.
i sometimes couldn't imagine if i did write those things.
hmm, to say the least, i sometimes feel "shallow" for saying such.
talking about the mundane. ranting about irrelevant stuff. obsessing even.
gahd, fast forward to this day, i feel like i've matured abit? oh yeah?

i just hope i wouldn't say much about the "same thing" over and over.
it made me sound like a broken record.
and i feel soo sorry for the readers (if there are any).
pathetic, right?

oh well. i just hope i could write about better things, from this day forward...

here we go again

2010-01-22T13:59:00.006+08:00

call me weird.

but(i'm pretty sure that) i have this tendency to digress from an equally important task, when it's there right smack my face.

yes. attention shifts here and there. gahd.
ergo, i blog hop. i stumbled upon familiar pages. checked out new ones, and now, i'm even more inspired to bring my "pensitivity" back to life. i just hope i have the time though.

and so, in my effort to add spice to blogging. i would try to add diverse media into my entries. (somewhat similar to my tumblr.) and hopefully, i could keep up with this ambition, errr goal.

so let me start with this one.

a few weeks (or months) back, in one of my exchanges with a friend. we discussed about impressions, well, tis pretty obvious that we're not that acquainted just yet. and so comments flew to and fro. we discussed about animation and illustration coz we're both into art, oh, coz i'm a frustrated artist just in case the word ain't out yet. thought about exchanging artworks. as if, i'd have the chance to show off my talent. (what talent?!?)

simply put, my friend did his share, and i, well... didn't. i actually felt bad, but i was too preoccupied with so many things and didn't feel that enthused about sketching. and yes, i know i shouldn't make excuses for bailing on "deals".

and so, here it (h)is.

and just this afternoon, (yes, as a result of bloghopping), i felt like sketching a quick whatnot.
i was about to upload it to my computer, turns out our scanner conked out. baah, too bad. i'll show my piece once i've found the means to.. promise.

((i say: hija, magtrabaho ka na... go! ikaw rin ang maiipit niyan, sige ka...))

(untitled)

2010-01-21T14:29:00.003+08:00

things are going well until you asked,

"so, when do you draw the line? uhh, i mean, how?!?"

pffft. foot in mouth disease.

in the spirit of vanity

2010-01-21T13:38:00.004+08:00

or rather a necessity...

gahd, i've been dying to get a haircut. i actually keep this 4-month rule then do something drastic to my hair. now it's been stripped off its life or the lack thereof.

i've been itching to go check out that t&j spot. but my "busy" sked wouldn't let me.
i have to keep a mental note to visit come next week.

speaking of "drastic". i've been really keen about going natural. no more of those pretentious stick-straight hair that would make me look more like a kor. i'm taking this adventure to the next level, and see if they can catch my drift.

hmmm. i would want something in the lines of this look. safe? i know right..

but i lavett!

optimism is the key:)

2009-12-15T10:39:00.002+08:00

for what it's worth....

i super duper thank God. things are now turning up.
i thank You, Lord for being with me every step of the way.
for seeing things through.
You know better... You know best.

You're always behind me. And you're even steps ahead.
And you've never ever left my side.

I thank you.
Words are not enough.

I give you all the glory. Oh yeah! :)

listless... then again.

2009-12-03T13:43:00.005+08:00

have you ever wondered how it'd feel working for something you're truly passionate about?
if moolah is out of the question, what would you be doing?

i see myself flourishing into performing arts. i've always wanted to tap my creative side...
oh, i also wanted to try doing freelance work.

hmmm. looks like a list is on its way...

(( I say: why do moments like these stick up, when i need to focus with work??? ... i have a deadline to beat. waaah! ))

random thought (insert number here)

2009-12-03T13:29:00.004+08:00

it's odd when people try soooo hard to chat you up.
then they feel like they know you afterwards.

but then again, think about those times you've built on friendship.
then walls would crumble down, on that day you opted for insolence. . .

life is absurd.

sweet disposition

2009-12-01T16:43:00.008+08:00

i know, i'm such a sucker for impeccably gifted musicians!
my heart leaped when i heard this song in 500 days of Summer's OST.

gaaaaaaaaaahd! can i go die now?!?

SWEET DISPOSITION
by The Temper Trap

Sweet disposition
Never too soon
Oh reckless abandon,
Like no one's watching you

A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A kiss, a cry
Our rights, our wrongs
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh

Just stay there
Cause I'll be comin' over
While our bloods still young
It's so young, it runs
Won't stop til it's over
Won't stop to surrender

Songs of desperation
I played them for you

A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A kiss, a cry
our rights, our wrongs
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh

Just stay there
Cause I'll be comin' over
While our bloods still young
It's so young, it runs
Won't stop til it's over
Won't stop to surrender

A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A kiss, a cry
Our rights, our wrongs (won't stop til it's over)

A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A kiss, a cry
Our rights, our wrongs (won't stop til it's over)

A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A kiss, a cry
Our rights, our wrongs (won't stop til it's over)

A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A moment, a love
A moment, a love (won't stop to surrender)

talk about equality.

2009-11-18T15:55:00.006+08:00

...
yes, i was in the middle of work. so to speak.
my thoughts were far-out and flying.
and so i started to head into the blogosphere.

i remember (i used to) frequently visit a certain person's site.
so i thought, today's a good day..
skimmed through her limitless list of whatnots.
i chanced upon something familiar, elmer by gerry alanguilan

that mere thought brought me to two weeks ago.
that lazy saturday, my sister prodded me to check out the graphic novel she brought from work.
(ah, the perks of working for a publishing house. sneak peeks. freebies and what not. a whole diff story...)

spent a few good hours skimming into the cool artworks. quirky script.
and oddly engaging plot that was elmer.
i can't help but wonder if this did happen in real life, how would things be?
taking equality into a (whole) different level.
i'm not sure if i'm even ready for that...

wait a minute, how come you're growing huge q-marks all around?
i'm pretty sure you're dying to find out... well, go and get a copy and see for yourself!

how could you be so heartless

2009-11-18T15:06:00.004+08:00

"no, i'm not blurting that statement out."

it happened to be a line in my favorite song, heartless.
this has been a permanent fixture in my playlist.
and yes, played over and over like twas some sortof mantra.
not that i'm cussing the heavens for some random guy who broke my heart. ha-ha.

let's cut to the chase....

well, some months back while i was watching MTv. i chanced upon the fray's version of the song.
i felt my eyes grow bigger, heart racing... gahd, that was cool. my mind went blank and i got glued to the tube. ogled at the video's uber cool concept. oh dear, oh dear!

i heart the fray! i heart heartless! i sooo luuuurve what i was seeing!!!!
a match made in heaven. i can go die now... (nah!)

take a good look at it, and you'll know what i'm yapping about.

The Fray - Heartless (Official Music Video) - The best video clips are here

oh, i have one bit of message for kanye though:
"yo, kanye! the fray did it better, y'know!"

peace out!

((i say: gahd, i wish i'm that artsy. and doodle that way...))

another one of those lucid dreams

2009-11-13T10:17:00.003+08:00

for some weird reason. you suddenly decided to shut me off your world.

oblivious. aloof.
been wracking my head. what the hell did i do wrong this time?!?
gahd, i can't think of any.
swallowed my pride. tried my darn best to reach out to you.
and no, this is not the first time, you know that.

but all i get is... NOTHING!
not even a word, i can take it if you're mad. but come on, bring the message across.
i'm starting to think how hard it is to deal with you. i hate the fact that you are a tad high-maint.
is this your way of punishing me? well, guess what, you're an inch in achieving your sweet success.

i know i don't deserve this. i'm aware that i should be the "bigger man", to be more open to understand. but where should i come from?!? gahd, the anguish. mental anguish.
i'm sure you haven't had enough, guess what... i'm even bothered in my sleep.

i had the weirdest of all dreams. twas so surreal. lucid in fact.
you were there, a rather familiar scenario. and some of our common links played a part.
and yes, i got the same cold treatment. i tried to shove it off.
gave you the distance, you obviously would want.
then poof, i awoke. time to get back to reality... sigh. heave a deep and heavy sigh.

for what it's worth, i won't bug you for as much time as you want.
i wouldn't want to appear like a pathetic schmuck, asking how things are.
i'm trying so hard not feel frustrated. gahd, it sucks to feel this way.
you know that i can take as much criticisms and outbursts.
but please, bring things to the table. no more mind games, if you'd consider it that.

for the record, i don't hate you.
i just hate what's going on. coz i obviously do not know what happened in between what?
you are still my dearest friend. i honestly recant our happy days together.
i look behind me when i walk in our common places, hoping i'll chance upon you...

i asked God to help me get through this.
i'm not used to being less confrontational, and be the "bigger man".
but i'm trying my best to be that.
coz i know how fragile you are, and i wouldn't want to add little cracks or further damage.
i want you to know that i'm sad. i feel it in the deepest pit of my stomach.
i have shed tears, hot tears. obsessive thoughts, recalling what i've done (i know i sound pathetic).

we all have quirks and mishaps, and i want you to know that despite such, i love you just the same.
i can only take in as much...

i just pray that things would be okay. and i mean, really okay.
sigh...

((I say: see, how i've been bothered that i finished this post, prioritized it over work. haaay, buhay))

trouble sleeping.

2009-11-01T00:34:00.003+08:00

slept in the early part of the day.
so, i'm pumped up... couldn't sleep.

been meaning to work on my look(let).
here's my first take on fash.

safe. but i like it.

when reality hits you. it hits you baaad.

2009-10-31T23:06:00.003+08:00

life isn't always how or what you think it is.
sometimes, life is how you make of it.

some things fall on your lap.
others needed to be rummaged, sought into deep for you to find it.

life is a funny road. but interesting nonetheless.

(note: it's been two weeks and i'm still dazed by 500 days of summer. gahd, i lurve the flick! and i mean the whole package!!! )

two-faced who.

2009-10-21T16:40:00.003+08:00

do you ever feel like there are two sides to your coin?

that it'd take one flick to decide which side you're on.
sigh, i know that i do. and i'm not being "emotional" about it.

to tell you quite frankly...

(creds: with a couple of my sweeties from work. i heart them to piecesssss!)

sometimes, just leave me be. things would be sunny. :)

twas thisclose

2009-09-09T14:59:00.002+08:00

((i'm not even sure if i'm supposed to write about this.))

it all started with this piece of drawing.

and things blew into unknown proportions...

it's weird how you're stuck right in the middle of a sticky sitch.
between your dear sister and a dearest friend...
you spoke your mind. thought about it for the umpteenth time.
but right beneath you, you know that it was the right thing to do.

and so you did it. and it reaped a whole bunch of unforeseen consequences.
it was more than you can chew. but it'd eat you up if you kept mum.

bothered for days. weeks even. and then you tried for a resolve.
tearful explanations of this and that. played 'damned' scenarios in your head.
thought of the worst case, heck, it can't be done. no way.
BUT thankful that things turned up, as everything was divulged.

was it worth it? at least you know, that what you have is real.
tested through fire. a gem of a friendship was catalyzed.

for what it's worth. i am deeply sorry, but you know that i just did what i had to do.

note: this was a done deal. things are waaaay beyond us. we're the 'bestest' of friends. and we definitely proved that. hug!
one more note: even when you say, it's business... it's hard to do it with friends. involved parties should always deem to be the bigger man, willing to understand so as not to hamper your friendship, on top of everything. that's what matters, come sundown. :)

My BDO effed up sitch :|

2009-08-25T19:01:00.001+08:00

Reference Number: 502-192-124

Payday! Woot! Woot!

Financial obligations lined up...

Settle globe bill, give my share,

pay sisterhood, and what not.

Amount to withdraw? Hmmm, 8thousand?

What's wrong with the machine???

Patience. Tap tap.

Check the slots. Still no cash???

... wait for its processing.

Press the keys - machine not responding.

CANCEL. Card out.

Check balance. 5 THOUSAND LEFT???

What the fudge???

Didn't get the amount needed.

Reported to Customer Service.

Case Report filed. Wait for 5 days. Or so.

Ho-humm.

So much for payday blues.

I'm literally blue. Tried not to jerk a tear.

Tried to stay on top of the sitch. But I'm pissed.

And things aren't in my control.

Crap. Sigh.

Recant sitch over and over. In my head.

Obsessing.

Lord, help me see the light in this.

Things would turn around sooner than I think.

Help me to trust in You.

Lord, please help me.

leave me be!

2009-08-20T12:56:00.003+08:00

oooh, life indeed has teenie weenie surprises...

on the 15th of august 2009, i saw him. twas once in a lifetime. an opportunity i dare not miss.

mustered enough courage to take the plunge. gahd, i sure hope this isn't a dream.

oh, it's not, dearie. weeeee! (hugs her fairy godmudra)

life is sweet. oh, it's soooo sweet!

haha. for the record, if you happen to look like him or at least parry with him. please get a stub, and line up! HAhaHAha!

leave me be, will you! (gleeful^^)

kwentong komyuter

2009-07-31T10:47:00.002+08:00

pasensya na. pero habang ako ay bumabaybay patungo sa opisina.
naisipan kong isiwalat ang aking saloobin bilang isang kawawang komyuter sa kalakhang maynila.

kaya't heto na. sigurado akong marami ang tatango't iiling.
sa mga hindi makakuha ng mensahe, aba'y ang swerto niyo!
dahil marahil, ilan ka sa di nabibilang sa demograpikong ito.

...

sa bawat pagising sa umaga, na pawang napakaaga.
upang maligo at gawin ang iba't-ibang ritwales.
paghahanda sa pagpasok sa opisina.
hahalik sa aking mga magulang, at kami ay babasbasan.

lalabas ng pinto. tutunguhin ang lansangan.
palabas ng aming munting pamayanan. mag-aabang ng unang sasakyan.
traysikel, yan ang tawag sa kanya. pawang mura ang bayad sa umaga.
(pero pag uwian na, ten million times na ang patong sa kanya!)

kapag umuulan. ikaw ay matatalsikan. kapag minalas ka pa, para ka ring pinausukan.
haaaay. ang saya. minsan iniisip ko, para san pa't ako'y naligo pa!
konting tiis lang, ihahatid ka sa terminal ng pangalawa kong sasakyan.
dyip, ang pambansang transportasyon, ika nga ng iba.

mabuti pa sa terminal na ito, pawang may kaayusan.
bayad muna bago sakay, at siyempre lahat ay pumipila - naghihintay na makalarga.
nakakainis lang, ang mga pasahero ay pilit na pinagkakasya. upuang tig-pito, ay tig-walo raw.
feeling pa nila, lahat ng tao ay one-size fits all. goodluck na lang kung may ma-jubis sa hilera!

ito na. biyaheng langit? hindi naman, sa skyway lang ang daan. kaya't kapit na ng mahigpit.
pati ang iyong buhok ay ikipkip. libreng blowdry para kikay. hmmm. ang bango, usok scent ang uso.
ilang saglit lang, babalik na sa lupa. ang init ng polusyon iyong madarama.
sa pagliko ng magallanes, masi-stress ka. mga dyip na nagigitgitan. haayy, ano ba!

hindi lang yan, mga hari ng lansangan pawang nagkakarera. sa kaliwa't sa kanan, asan ba ang daan?
hindi na ako makahinga. ang kapal ng usok na kanilang binubuga, mas masahol pa sa yosi kadiring mama.
konting tiis na lang, bababa ka na. nakikita mo na ang estasyon ng ikatlong sasakyan.
pero bago yan, dito na ba tayo bababa? sa third lane ng kalsada?!? pinapamadali ka pa!!!

ayun na, nakababa na kami isa-isa. kumakaripas ang mga paa. yakap-yakap ang mga dala.
kasi kung tatanga-tanga ka, masasalisihan ka at malas mo na lang kung nadukutan na. (experience?)
haaay. hindi na naman ako makahinga. ang daming tao. umaakyat ng matatarik na hagdan.
sandali lang. hinga ng malalim. hinga. hinga. bukas ng bag. patungo sa himpilan.

may inspeksyon pang nalalaman na sumpungin naman. minsan din hindi naman nila tinitignan.
pero kapag na-bingo ka, si mamang sekyu ikaw ay susungitan!
my goodness. kalahati pa lang to ng biyahe. take note, mahaba ang mrt.
taft avenue station, dito kami sumasakay para naman makaupo kahit sandali lang.

minsan sinubukan kong orasan, mga bente minutos ang biyahe ng tren.
makulay rin ang biyaheng ito. people watching, paboritong pasttime ko, my pren. (jologs?)
inaalam kung sinong taga-UP. nakikinig ng chismis ng iba. nang-ookray ng outfit ni lola.
teka, parang ang sama nun ah. ipipikit ang mata, at magdadasal, hihingi ng tawad muna.

Cubao station. ika nga ng operator. tatayo nako, at dito ay bababa. kasabay ang kalahati ng madla.
sana'y matapos na ang aking biyahe, dahil feeling ko... isa na akong bilasang isda.
bukod sa biyahe, walang humpay rin ang lakaran. kaya lalo kong nararamdaman ang kahinaan.
umaga pa lang, stressed na. oops, teka teka pang-apat ng sakay, ito na.

dyip ulit ang pang-apat na sasakyan. kaya't di ko na kailangan pang isalaysay.
ilang minuto nalang, nandyan na. ako ay papara, at sa tapat ng opisina ay bababa na.
pagsilip ko sa salamin. buhok ay pawang hinangin. bawat paghinga'y malalim.
puting damit halos ay mangutim. huhugasan ang mga kamay, nanlilimahid sa dumi. haaaay.

itutuloy ko pa ba? listahan ng reklamo't problema. tandaan na ito ay biyaheng pang-umaga.
sa oras ng pag-uwi, araw ay kumukubli. ang tanging kaibihan. sasakyang de aircon kapag uwian.
okay sana kung sarili kong kotse. pero van na kolorum aking sinasakyan, shuttle ang tawag dito 'pre.
ipipikit ang aking mga mata. pagod sa buong araw, pilit na itutulog muna.

haaay. kaskaserong mga driver. polusyon na pawang normal na hangin na.
gitgitang nakakairita. kapwa pasaherong minsa'y nagmamaldita.
ilan lamang yan sa makulay na aspeto ng isang komyuter.
salamat na lang, the week's almost over.

weekend car, here we come!
public transpo, na-ah, not this time.
hahahaha. tama na ang pag-aambisyon.
mag-ipon na kayo't tuparin ang inyong misyon.

((i say: my goodness. badtrip talaga mag=commute dito sa pilipinas!!! incovenient to the highest level))

choose your own adventure

2009-07-24T14:20:00.002+08:00

dahil pawang hindi ako maka-concentrate sa dapat kong gawin.
binisita ko ang paborito kong website.

sa aking pagbabasa, naisip kong ang buhay ng tao ay pare-pareho lamang.
maniwala ka man o hindi.

sa araw na ito. paninindigan kong ako'y isang emo(tional).
basahin ang mga sumusunod, at kung kilala mo ko, malamang naiintindihan mo ang sinasabi ko.

(a) kwento ng dalawang taong pawang paikot-ikot lamang. hanggang...

(b) isang love story na hindi...

o di kaya'y

(c) isang nakabinbing pangarap

haaay. ewan ko ba. nakalipas na ang ilang taon, tila may isang bahagi ng aking pagkatao na nananatiling ganun.
nagma-mature ng kaunti, pero ganun pa rin sa kabuuan.

hahaha. nakakatawa.

((I say: grow up, dearie! oh yeah, you better!!!))

(faithful) persistence

2009-07-24T13:33:00.003+08:00

i just realized that fighting for what is right is harder than it seems.
am i losing hope? no. waning? never.

i know that I have a big God Who's behind me, every step of the way.
soon, justice would be served... full measures of the law be applied.

((I say: nandyan ka na? titigil ka pa ba?))

that was it...

2009-07-19T13:48:00.001+08:00

mood: (heavy) sigh*

i finally did what i had to do, after x number of years.

"don't put your life on hold just because..."

sigh.

"ang aking kwentong pag-ibig"

2009-06-30T11:21:00.003+08:00

how are you feeling: pfffffft.

how dare you?!?
i thought i was dear to you.
that you'd never put me to harm.
but what did you do?
you breached my trust.
do i have any other choice?!?
i'm taking a stand.
wreaking havoc?
heck, i'd burn bridges if i can.

so much angst? nah, you better get your facts straight before you could react.
and stare daggers at me.

a couple of weeks ago, i received a mail.
yup, twas sent to me. my name is in it, and the address was exacto!

as i opened the whole thing, and read every line. i was so shocked to have received it.
i was like, "huh, when did this happen?!? could this be true?!?"
not realizing the gravity of the whole situation, i shoved the mail aside and went on to my usual stuff.

then my folks arrived. they saw the letter too. they called my attention. i'm smelling smoke right there.
to cut the long story short, my PAG-IBIG account was defrauded. defrauded. and i was held accountable for arrears amounting to PhP 24,000 plus plus plus... AND I DIDN'T EVEN APPLY FOR A HOUSING LOAN!!!

having imbibed that proactive sense, i was ready to file for legal complaint. oh, but i realized that i needed to do some investigation. and so i did. heck, i've been rummaging for info every darn chance i get. contacted people from my previous job. asked facts. verified them. consulted some law friends. did research at lawphil.net... they've all been very helpful.

plot thickened by the day. until i finally reached a viable "culprit". and it was one of my "trusty" friends from faraway land. how could she have done such a deed?!?

and to make matters worse, she just adviced me to let things slide. "things are gonna get settled, and i wouldn't have any financial obligations with PAG-IBIG." WHAT THE HELL?!? this is more than money, dearie. i don't care if you owed me or what. but it's my reputation that you were putting at stake!!!

FYI: the arrears are now due for 2-months. and it'd take one more month for MY pag-ibig account to set on default. meaning, I would be considered as a delinquent borrower. blacklisted. PERPETUALLY BANNED FROM AVAILING ANY LOAN FROM PAG-IBIG. perpetual, you know what "perpetual" means?!?

could i just let that slide?!?
to think that I did not make any loan, I did not sign any document for that matter. and God knows I'm telling the truth and nothing but it!

wait, wait, wait... so much angst right there.
after some days, fumes have finally let off.
but this doesn't stop me from doing what i know is right.

okay, i've forgiven you. but you need to learn an effing lesson, dearie!

and so, i headed to the Pag-ibig main office at the atrium of makati.
and reported the misdeed to the members relations department.
having known the fiasco, i could see them shake their heads in disbelief. and wondered why such a (mis)deed take place in their system. hmmm. i't s probably an inside job. doh, it has "IJ" written all over it.

well, they haven't really done a concrete action to my complaint. oh yeah, coz the philippine government system is sooo efficient. how could i forget that. but i thank them for accommodating my complaint. at least i've brought this concern to their attention, and hopefully press appropriate action for it.
i'm still positive on its outcome! (Lord, please help us!)

for the record, i'm not doing this for myself. i've known some more colleagues were involved, "victimized". they didn't know their accounts were used by the same "culprit"... oh yeah, consider this a scam indeed! and counts as a criminal offense.

to my then-friend, i hope you realize the gravity of your misdeed. some friend you are.
i've forgiven you, but well, i had to do what i did. i guess, we're break even.
and for what it's worth, may God bless your soul...

((i say: serious matters need to be taken seriously. doh, do the math. or suffer the grave consequences that you really didn't deserve. capisce?!?))

is this MY moment?

2009-06-01T09:53:00.000+08:00

yes, i've been told to update my blog. but what can i do? i'm a busy monger.
or just lazy altogether.

anyhoo, i'd want to make this as brief as possible. i have more important things to do, and they're all screaming on top of my head. hahahahaha. so i digress through my trusty blog.

sometime this summer. i was tasked to speak during one of our trainings. if you've known me, you'll see how i feared "public speaking".

well, not anymore. handling trainings has been one of the perks i've had since i started working in 2005. i love talking to a particular group of people. sharing with them what i know, and learning from them as well. i love the two-way learning. it's sooo fulfilling... and i always thank God that despite, drained energies and a raspy voice, i still could break a genuine smile off my face.

with all those said, i guess you'll realize your efforts paid off when you hear the crowd's loud applause, longer than expected. people coming up to you, hugging you and saying nice and uplifting comments. what a upper! natural high, alright.

and know that everything you did was beyond your own power, acknowledge that it's not you... it's never about you. coz you have a big God who deserves all the credit. (look to the heavens and thank Him. pray a silent prayer, and know deep down it's for Him, and it's Him... thank you, Lord).

kaya nga, when this bunch of youngbloods approached me... i was so shocked, i could literally get off my body. parang huwwwwaaaat?!? seryoso ba to?!?!?!?!
i guess they were serious. and i was just doing my job... with an extra ounce of passion perhaps.

i seriously wouldn't know how to react when they said, "ate, ang galing mo! IDOL kita!" and if that wasn't enough one of them even added, "gusto kong maging kagaya mo paglaki ko..." (honestly, nahiya ako. it's quite rare that people would really say that to my face. but of course, i was flattered. and thankful. ang galing ni Lord. hanep!)

and i guess they weren't really playing on me. coz they did the same thing when i met them a couples of months after... and oh, they requested for a photo op. artista?!?

(note: pardon the sabog feel. sabog lang talaga ako. that's all. hmmm. parang ka-age ko lang diba?)

((i say: simple things really rock my world. i thank God that people saw beyond me. everything was for HIS glory. ayos!))

happy birthday to me: mission accomplished!

2009-04-01T23:35:00.004+08:00

days before this one, i had a chance to learn something new over a chit-chat.
"have you ever tried eating by yourself?"
a question that rung my head since. wanting to know the facts straight.
an a-ha moment paved a way for a social experiment.

and so i thought, "what better way to do this on my twenty-fifth year!"
... skipped a day at work to do this "social experiment".

i dubbed this study as "indie style".
definition: a day when one could do things he has never done before. rooted from the word, independent, the objective of this activity is to carry out a day's event by himself. working at his own terms and pace.

specific tasks: get a haircut. catch a flick. enjoy a meal. (sounds simple, right?!?)

(yes, i know. these are not proof enough. but ohwell, these would do!)

reaction: excited, at first. why? 'cos i was (again) doing something different. i've always tagged someone along to complete the aforementioned tasks. so i was sooo curious how this day would go. well, there were snippets of me looking at groups of people. teenage people, having fun, hanging out. seeing others, coupling. but heck, there's no room for emo-moments right now.

with high spirits, i traversed through the commercial jungle, that is trinoma. head held high. shielded with my to-hell-with-the-world attitude, i braved the tasks... one after the other.

i wanted to do more. felt like i still had enough ammo to go the extra mile. oh but, i was running out of "fuel" (the f word)... and my mom asked me to come home for the requisite family dinner.

realization: well, not bad for starters.
and i just proved to myself that i could handle being a "loner" from a better perspective.
no more sulking over solo meals. no more wishful thinkings. no more. no more of those.
in my new year... as i'm entering another quarter of my life, i'm starting with an amped perspective.
of myself and how i'd celebrate those occasional "me-time's".
i'd be a shining, shimmering, silver! (bet on it if you want!)

i'm so grateful for this whole experience. i soo appreciate it all-together.
thank God i started the day right! oh, i thank everyone who called, messaged, greeted... thanks for making your presence felt this day. i deeply appreciate your efforts. gahd, i feel so loved. super duper wuper thanks, you guys! (P.S. regalo ko? ahahahahaa!)

((i say: set specific sked for indie style. refreshing. riveting. and oh, happy 25th birthday, sweetie. eww))

take 2!

2009-04-01T10:21:00.002+08:00

rummaging through my archive. i stumbled upon this test i took sometime in 2007.
out of sheer curiosity, i took the test again.

wahahahahah. i guess, i didn't do much progress. my 'grade' got up a notch.
not bad, right?

note to self: make a conscious effort to skim through your country! ang dami pa!!!

My Lakbayan grade is C+!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

rolled into one

2009-03-21T16:47:00.005+08:00

i heart him.
i heart the song.
(coz it's adele's ^6)

how nifty!

and here's an original.
sing one for me, please?!? blink blink.

oooohhhhh. i'm melting!

( i say: man, i wish i'm his... wahahahahaha!)

last night's aftermath

2009-03-21T14:36:00.004+08:00

if i were a girl. i'd definitely opt to be this kind! (hahahaha. pretentious much!)
but wait, i AM a girl...

saw them first late last year, at Give A Damn.
coming up the stage, they seemed like the "usual" feeble girls. in need of a man-figure. bleh.
then... their first note struck. my eyes began widening! jaw slowly dropping. then it stayed there.

whoooooooa. LUPEEEET! and they are girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (that made me proud. oooh, smug even!)
i looked at my friend, and we both agreed. ayos to!
and i started liking them since. and if i'd have the energy (and will), i'd be in their every gig.

if i were in a (rock) band, i'd opt to be like them too!
(oo, mas rocker chick ako. i know i'm not exactly girly girl!)
inspiring, as my friend and i put it:D gusto ko na rin tuloy mag-banda^^
they play hard, but you know they've got raw talent! love the rifts!

oh, i'm yapping about nyctinasty, by the way.

their guitar tricks are siiiiiiiick! (check out pat, the girl in white. simple lang siya, pero rock. literally! idol^^)

oh, we also heart gasulina and the ambassadors. two thumbs!!!
can i just say, they were both quirky and rockin'... steppin out of the mundance.
props to them!!!!

(i say: i know. i sounded like a total groupie! eew. but hey, i just appreciate their talent. i guess, such tasteful music is quite rare.. kaya heck, i rave noh!!!)

@.@

2009-03-17T23:06:00.004+08:00

it's been two days since i got back from an early vacay.
and i can still vividly see the memories played over and over my head.
i've never been this satisfied. heck, i know that i'm easy to please.
that i appreciate the company waaaay more than the place i visit.

but the trip we had was supreme! i can say that 'twas the best trip ever!!!!!
i know i left my heart there somewhere.
probably while i was snorkeling, or eating at the bistro.
or was it while i was dipping at the maquinit hotspring, or watching the sun go down at lambingan.

i love the simplicity of that trip. i totally felt like i was a traveler (yes, and not a tourist).
i valued the interaction with the locals who treated us more than guests, we were like family.
i'm definitely coming back. VITT, please book my next promo flight to busuanga!

yes, i know that i don't have enough proof to show you. i'll upload the snaps soon.
but for now, i'm diverting you to Ross' site and read her thoughts on the trip ^^

oh oh, i'm loving the hint of my sun-kissed tan^^
basta, i wasn't kidding when i said i'm relinquishing those days at paradise.
wanna come with? game! ^^

g spot: hyperdrive.

2009-02-19T23:38:00.010+08:00

ahaha.
no no no, it's not what you think, silly!

i must admit. i'm a "blogger-event-newbie". if there's such a thing.
mixed emotions surged through me. excited and afraid at the same time.
tried every effort to make conversation with people i just met.
thank gahd, they're friendly! super^^

super duper rich experience. i'm so pumped up. i'm not sure if i can write a decent post.

first off, thank gahd for connections. (talk about six degrees link, man!)
tagged along with my big little sister who got invited by her fab friend who knows the organizer of this Ipanema Seeds Collection Launch held at Le Souffle (lang naman) just a few hours ago.

these ringer words hit me.
dinner at Le Souffle (ting! ting!). free Ipanema goodies (ting! ting! ting!)
all i said was, "taralets!" in a heartbeat.

oh the perks of life!
perk # 1: royal treatment. well, not really, but twas close enough. we were chauffeured to the event. yay, minus the hassle of commuting. oh not to mention the (fine) dining experience. desserts were di-vine!!!!
perk # 2: early birds do get the best worms. great dinner seats. fab selection of ipanema flippies.
perk # 3: expansion. networking. meeting new people. mingling and what not. actually met the "faces" behind the blogs i visit. how cool can that get! and i literally got inspired. i'm taking my bloglife in a whole different level. (career kung career!)
perk # 4: rubbing elbows. literally. we got to meet and greet mr. elizalde. looks so gwapo, it's like he popped out of a foreign telenovela ofsorts.
perk # 5: pleasant surprise(s). well, not exactly mine, but my friends and sisters did get fabulous raffle prizes! yay for them!!!! ^^

kung may perks, may booboos :/
booboo 1: i didn't bring OLY, my trusty point-and-shoot cam. tsk.
booboo 2: my name wasn't called during the raffle (but my
sister's gonna give her pair to me! so yay!)
booboo 3: i forgot to ask for most of my tablemates' urls. ngarkie.

here are the evidences.
i hope these snippets of the SEEDS event would do.
oh yeah, apologies for the low-res photos. world peace.

top left onwards: (1) Mr. E giving the requisite intro for the event. (2) Ballerinas from Ballet Philippines pose for a photo op. (3) One of their quick-minute presentations. (4) Fine dine. Interesting centerpiece. too bad, the flippies displayed minus its pair - di pwedeng iuwi. haha!

moving on: (1) after event chika. that guy in black shirt is the "man behind byahilo.com". super inspiring. quit his job and has been doing something fun, free and interesting! (2) another one of those quirky centerpieces. (3) tablemates busy taking their snaps for their blogs. (4) big little sister won (can you tell from the photo? hahaha)

Get your facts! Straight!!!!

thanks to that nice chitchat with millet*, marketing supervisor for ELRO. i've dug myself into some hard facts on the product. (so let's start to get nerdy and all).

ipanema (pronounced as ipa-ne-ma, not ipa-nee-ma) is:

(a) a Brazilian line of comfortable flippies. yep, alongside havaianas. dupe. et cetera et cetera.
(b) made from PVC rubber. hence, that "buttery rubber sole" feel. you'll literally feel you're in feet-heaven. as it contours with your soles. trust me!
(c) Grendha's sister company. same diff, man.
(d) promoting a line for Gisele Bundchen's designs, right now it's the SEEDS collection. (out this MARCH!)
(e) exercising corporate social responsibility through environmental conservation. this time it's to preserve rain forests :) yep, proceeds actually go to this movement.
(f) working with Haribon Foundation in their awareness campaign called, "ROAD to 2020"
(g) all of the above. duh, it's pretty obvious, right?!?

and finally, a huge shout out to my NFFs: sisters, karla and abbie
'twas nice meeting these sweeties too: aj, enrico, and lace

can't wait to be in another affair. bloggers' affair that is.

apologies for the eyestrain. haha.

"aray!"

2009-02-19T08:51:00.008+08:00

just another day. or so i thought.

on my usual weekday. oh, left the house earlier than usual by the way.
witnessed another chunk of the rush hour. stressed? nah.
robotic routine. everything seemed too calculated.
what's taking the train so long? tip tappin.
people started to crowd the plank. gotta to take that seat.

mind traverses. people watching. keenly observing some.
nosy. nosy me, as usual.
an oddly loud, "aray!" startled my quiescence.
an old lady probably got hurt. duh, people were cramped like sardines in this (mr)tincan.
now, tell me if your personal bubble won't burst?!? invasion of privacy.
and if that's not enough, someone old man quipped. "aray? tell that aray to gloria!"

hmmm. quite a handful right there. people are so irate nowadays.
acting like berserks over petty, very trivial things.
and i can't blame them...
what an early dose of the vitamin P(olitics)?!?!!

"aray?" tell that to gloria.
and oh, thanks for the sucky ride.
for crying out loud, can you do something about it?!?!?!
(i really, really hope this doesn't dissipate into thin air)

"foot-in-mouth"

2009-02-18T13:33:00.001+08:00

how do you take back words you've said?

how can you?

"julie tearjerky"

2009-02-17T17:29:00.004+08:00

i may be a hard nut to crack.
some say that i'm frigid. an ice queen.
but little do people know that i'm a covert softie.
a hopeless romantic wannabe.

some friend shared me this song. (wink wink, you know who you are^^)
it gives your heart this teenie weenie pinch
that's enough to head you to a perfect sobfest.

"I have never been so sure
of anything before
Like I am, in this moment here with you
Now for better or for worse
There's so much more than only words
And I pray, everyday will be the proof
That I mean what I say, when I say I do
That I mean what I say, when I say I do."
- excerpts from When I Say I Do, Matthew West (c)

(I say: Geesh. When will my time come? whahahahah!!!)

emarti

2009-02-17T09:09:00.003+08:00

northbound. southbound.
cubao station to ayala.
where to?
what now?

it's time for us to go...

i won't let you

2009-02-10T14:27:00.005+08:00

"Fly"
(c) jars of clay

Be still
Let your hand melt into mine
The part of me
That breathes when you breathe
Is losing time
I can't find the words to say
I'll never say goodbye

And I'll fly with you
Through the night so you know
I'm not letting go
I'm not letting go
Tears like rain fill up the sky
Oh my love
I'm not letting go
I won't let you go

I saw a host of silent angels
Waiting on their own
Knowing that all the promises
Of faith come alive
When you see home
Hold still and let your
Hand melt into mine

Shed your heart and your breath
And your pain and fly
Now your alive

Now your alive
Now your alive
Now your alive

I won't let you go
I'm not letting go

(i say: very inspiring. affirming then again....)

sigh

2009-02-10T13:39:00.001+08:00

i bruise easily.

literally.

ewww, right?!?

it is written

2009-02-08T21:58:00.004+08:00

"when you're destined for something,
no one... nothing can take it away from you."

harsh (life's) realities. sordid dispositions.
effed up situations. traumatic flashbacks.
... seemed like you're losing ground.

spark of hope. fight for your right.
stand your ground. believe.
... things would come around.

life may be a series of unfortunate events.
a puddle of "mud". sinking sand. no way out.
but press on, HE knows what's ahead of us.
a quirky little surprise, right before our very eyes.

believe. (D:) IT IS WRITTEN.

indeed, "God is great!" - salim k. malik

Yeah. yeah. yeah. it's a happy ending after all.
but it's a great film altogether. come on, i know you liked it! ^^
(i heart heart heart HEART HEART our weekend dvd trips!!!)

(s)talk

2009-02-03T10:26:00.003+08:00

(he) walks by. in your direction.
is this for real?!?
so near, yet so far.
(you) could catch a whiff of his scent.
so neat and well-kept.
(his) watch says, 8:52. running late.
could've taken a cab. thank God you didn't.

(he's) in your vantage point.
tried hard not to stare. awkwardly, eyes met.
you acted innocently. (or did you?) thoughts run in your head.
could this be real?!? it's so surreal.
anxiety attacks. (shoot) you're running late.
don't panic. seize the moment. a rare chance.
oops. you're staring again. look the other way.

is this for real? could this be real? is HE for real?
aaack. you're overthinking. you.better. stop it.
oh. there's his stop. crap.
toodles. see you again. some other time. (tomorrow, i hope. haha!)

if you're not him, please step out.

2009-02-01T22:52:00.001+08:00

i've always been told that i have the weirdest taste in guys.

well, thanks for the compliment?!?
but i guess i just have the "knack" to go ga-ga over geeks, err, nerds (whatev). well, not the total dweebs, but those with cutesy potential (like james mcavoy for one! oh, and atom for another:D *eyes twinkle*) . i'm sure you won't totally understand, so don't even bother asking.

i guess to me, they just have more substance. they see life in a different light. they find zest in peculiar ways. they're nice, too nice that people see them as pushovers. it's sad? but oh well, i'm unconventional that way. i dunno, i guess i'm just "wired" to like the type. i've always been fond of such "characters" ever since the word "crush" got tabbed in my vocab. ask people who know me, and they'd say "yes" without blinking an eye. (right, lai?!?) i've often heard of loud "whaat?!?'s", but so what?

hmm. most of these guys are "fictional" anyway. so leave me be.
and if it's any consolation, i'm writing this blog in "honor" of one of my supergeeky crushes, i heart michael cera! he's witty. i love his comedic timing. he's awkward and hot at the same time? i heart him!!!

i wish to meet someone like him (if not him)... someday.
aaack. i sound like a highschool girl wishing on a wishing star.
how pathetic can that get?!? before i melt out of embarrassment.
if you see him, or if you chance upon him... can you tell him that i heart him?!?

wahahahha. oh, i know you're not him. so puh-lease step out.

poof

2009-01-28T09:42:00.003+08:00

i had the weirdest dream,
so vivid and lucid.
everything was so fluid,
yet solid at the same time.
things seemed to fit,
they all fell into place.

that weird kind of peace,
faintest hint of trouble.
what does this all mean, i asked.

(clock) alarmed.
*poof* it became koko krunch!

happened between the 27th and 28th

up a notch or two

2009-01-23T09:36:00.004+08:00

((yesterday))

it caught my eye, among the stack
an upgraded version
gawked at it endlessly
examined its every feature
secretly hoping it IS mine
"when will it be mine...
will it ever be mine?"

((today)) on a more solemn note
sfx: dramatic song playing ala loving yours...

2009 just started
and i've intermittently heard
news of death. families, bereaved
loved ones crossing the bridge
to an after life
makes me realize
how life is uncertain
pause for a moment,
heave a prayer of peace and comfort
may God bless their souls...

((tomorrow))

is saturday. the day after friday.
just stating the obvious.
i heart weekends!

I say: get back to work!!!!!!!!!

random thought x: emoment

2009-01-22T10:07:00.003+08:00

dark clouds hovering.
thoughts whirr.
head thuds.
migraine attack!

life ahead, daunting.
heart palpitates.
chest tightens.
hyperventilate.

uncertainty looming.
distressed.
redirecting.
hope glimmers...

(i say: "say what? emo-moment right there. pffft. let the cycle stop.")

deciphering me

2009-01-19T14:41:00.002+08:00

when i feel life is effed up.
or i seem at a lost.
in constant search.

i know that there's a Greater Being, watching me.
Holding my life in His Great Hands. Waiting. waiting.
With utter patience, He's leading me back to His path...
___________________________________________

"Friend, it's getting late, we should be going
We have sat here beneath these flickering neons for hours.
While I am cracking their code, you are deciphering me
For I am a mystery, I am a locked room in a tall tower.

Oh can you feel the gravity falling, calling us home?
Oh did you see the stars colliding? Shining just to show,
We belong.
We belong.

Your telescope eyes see everything clearly
My vision is blurred but I know what I heard
Echoing all around.
Well I am telling you and you are deciphering me.
Not such a mystery, not such a faint and far away sound.

Oh can you feel the gravity falling? Calling us home?
Oh did you see the stars colliding? Shining just to show,
We belong.
We belong.

Its love, its love that holds us
We will be alright

Its truth, its truth that shows us
As we walk in this life."

Artist: Brooke Fraser
Album: Albertine (2006)
Song: Deciphering Me

requisite year-end post (and i know this came a tad late)

2009-01-01T20:34:00.003+08:00

i know i'm such an emo.
and no, i don't mean those in tight pants, striped pull-overs, chucks or skimmers. in heavy eyeliners, disheveled hair kind of people we see that increase in blown proportions.

emo. as in, emotional.
one minute your happy, irritated the next, then sullen afterwards.
am i turning into a looney? i hope not.

but i know that i do have mood swings. and i almost threw a fit on the day 2008 meets 2009.
how great can that get?

thank God, i got spared from my own personal drama.
i am such a drama queen. and i know that people are just trying their best to put up with me, and i'm just soooo grateful that they could do that.

i know that i'm a difficult person to deal with, but still, God has blessed me with loved ones and friends who patiently stood by my side. thanks for always, always lending an ear - spending loads of your time trying to dissect life's situations with me. i heart you for doing that, it's a pretty tough job though...

thanks for sticking up with my unpredictabilities - if there's such a thing.
it's hard to be too volatile, erratic, unconventional, it's hard to be me.
i sometimes feel like giving up on myself and my complexities. me and my overanalytic frame. it's tiring. and i know that i don't need to convince you, otherwise.

basta, i'm super grateful for everyone who came close enough to see the real emo me.
as embarrassing as it may sound, i'm so touched for going through all the effort. promise.

i thank God for always putting me back on track. i know that i've been pretty much on a rollercoaster, but He's always helped me stay on top of things... and He's used people to make me realize that.

well, i just pray that this year would be less of a drama. i want to try to be sunnier this time!
^^

clap clap

2008-11-28T16:10:00.000+08:00

proby days are over.

i was there seated inside the glass room. my superior and i were rummaging through my accomplishments. constructive criticisms. words of advice. and an expected splice in that prayer.

i passed!
ayos. here's to another six months into this new world.

then we'll see.

yay! Lord, thanks for the fruitful first six.
guide me in the next half...

grim(ace)

2008-11-26T13:32:00.002+08:00

why do i feel sullen?

light-headed. shaken.
dead tired.
as if i fought a thousand battles.

energy sapped out of my system.
felt sorry, apparently for myself.
looked at "things" differently.

things seemed berserk nowadays.
berserk. in a melancholic way.

nah, must be the aftermath of yesterday's divi-day.

toss and turn

2008-11-20T16:23:00.004+08:00

feeling troubled :/

is my life in a blur?

a ghost from the past made its presence felt.

current "events" in this new world are hazy. shady even.
you know something they don't. a secret feared to be told.

future is distant. elusive yet gripping.
anxiety attacks.

"Lord, i know you have a Grand Scheme.
Help me stick by it. when will things be clear?"

aack. you just let a day slip... just like that.
what a waste.

can you handle it? can you? CAN YOU?!?

2008-11-14T14:21:00.014+08:00

well, I CAN! (full proof right below! oh yes, classic!)
call me risk-taker. call me daredevil.
but never a wimp. chicken? nope. ne-ver.
i can take on whatever challenge is right before my face.

balut? uuuh. paassssss.

today, on a glorious friday, my friends in our special room went on a whim.
a few minutes before lunchtime. to eat balut! yup, the infamous balut.
(FYI: Balut is a popular Filipino street snack and is essentially a duck egg with a fetus inside, typically between seventeen to twenty days in gestation.)

my special friends prodded and prodded. called me names. (nah, didn't go that far)
then i finally caved in! (Oh good Lord.)

twas a first. a milestone. could qualify as that. (di ka Pinoy if you haven't tried one!)

with much (dis)gusto, i mustered the courage to take a bite. thrust it down my throat.
eyes tightly closed. fighting the urge to purge.

i almost cried. (exaggerated). cried out a victor!
woot! woot! beat that?
i'm sure my folks are damn proud of me.

care for another round of the B?
ummm. kayo na lang.

disclaimer: i'm done with durian. graduate nako sa balut. come on, keep it coming!
let's make a list of 100 foodums to eat before you die. tara! bring it on!!!

another disclaimer: pardon our speech. we talk like that in our special place. you copy?

wreaked havoc

2008-11-13T12:50:00.004+08:00

clock said it's past 5pm, almost 6. time for you to go.
got up and fixed your things. like a usual, after office routine.
head out to the door. talking nonsense to an officemate.
talked about bags, usual girly stuff.

then you saw a familiar face. your eyes met.
heaved a heavy sigh. it was all in your head.
fortunate coincidence? was it one?
tried to act nonchalant.
held your umbrella. as if preparing for battle.
soft drizzles were out.

crossed the street. to take the jeep.
was standing on the curb ahead of you.
oblivion. traveling alone.
awkward silence. two-person distance.
(his) obvious effort to make conversation.
(your) abrupt replies. long moments of silence.

where have all the jeepneys gone?
insanely long hours of waiting for one.
atmosphere tense. acted as if estranged.
heard something. someone. calling you out.
looked around. looked ahead. onlookers.

"nosy people". watching your every move.
entertaining? made-up stories. plot thickens. in their heads.
don't stress. let things be. why are you acting antsy?
thank God a jeep arrived. head out for the front seat.
was it a wrong move? twas a better one, a safer option.

veered from plausible intrigues. though harmless ones.
it's been days since the encounter. moments (still) recanted on hours end.
entertaining? at first it was. bothering? a little more on this end.
must resist analyzing. must resist guilt-tripping. must resist.
it was a coincidence after all. no biggie right there.

over thinking. you're curved to do that.
chill. breathe. shake thoughts out. clear your head.
go with the "flow"? let them be.
do checkpoints. know where you stand.

wreaking havoc? recipe for disaster? don't go there.
don't you ever learn? just stay where you are.
stay. there.

chasing pavements.

2008-11-11T14:08:00.003+08:00

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere...

(c) adele. chasing pavements. universal music ltd.

60-60: a soul revolution

2008-11-10T06:05:00.001+08:00

coming home from day one at the Global Leadership Summit.
i believe God has been nudging my spirit. stay connected.
the very same message that's been ringing my ears for as long as i can remember.

keep a constant connection. sounds simple, but tough in execution.
it has been a personal struggle. but i knew right deep inside me that i should step up, and do it.
and God knew I can't do it alone. He called the family to take on the challenge. Yup, all five of us.

And so we marked this day, the 10th of November, as a beginning of something different. A revolution that can induce change. change that is beyond our human strength. A Soul Revolution that could transform us, as long as we stay on the ride. stay connected to the vine.
the 60-60 challenge. staying in tune with God. every hour of the day. for 60 full days. keeping constant communication with our Maker, even if it's about the most mundane.
it's like doing checkpoints with God, every 60 minutes. and see, experience a change brought about by it.

sounds boring? corny? uneventful? or downright tacky???
well, it won't hurt if you'd try. i'm stepping up to see for myself.
(check out evidences from this blog: go ahead, click it. soulrevolution)

i'm excited. ^^ we're excited...

disdainful deja vu: fact or fiction

2008-11-10T04:18:00.001+08:00

the party of five called out for a different cheap trip.
(and the other one took this photo)

yes, we got tired of those pricey spots in makati. (a lame excuse for not having enough dough and energy to step out of the village).

so we settled for the local scene. thought that too much "sex" would jack up our blood pressures to the ceiling. how about we go back to the pretentious, ludicrously-priced, foreign-sounding kapihan? oh, and that "central" place have been the spot for far too many people... that we decided to take the road less-traveled and headed the other way for a checkpoint.

we thought that the coveted spot catered to an older demographic. we literally felt out-of-place. the terminal's fluidity started too feel too thick that air wasn't quite right for our robust lungs. must breathe. stepped out and saw what we were looking for...

a checkpoint!
who would have thought we had that same soundtrip, chillax spot within the better turf? a steady place for good friends to wile their time... was just right under our noses. cozy spot, and steady meals. we were starting to like the place.

but wait, there's more! the likes of urbandub, up dharma down, sinosikat?, itchyworms allegedly played and made a scene right at this very spot. whoa, whoa, whoa. isn't that cool?!? cool.

don't get things so pumped up. famed ones get seen, but "rookies" get their taste as well.

and on our first night at that checkpoint, just as our eyes were glazed with this teenie discovery. things started to get cloudy. the party of five in unison, exclaimed, "are we seeing what we're seeing?!?" we had a double-take on our vision, "could this be real?!?" it's like the dream balloon was popped by a nasty needle. man, we're off for some ride that night. a total nightmare.

we kept on praying that our ears won't bleed as they played. thought that it was a funny and freaky coincidence. that maybe God was telling us to straighten our act. have we been bad to the bones that we're being punished? but still we felt (He was) gracious, they didn't play as loud. or the sound mechanic tinkered with the system a tad bit? felt that they weren't as inspired. thank God. super thank God. sigh.

hmmm. if not for them, and the other glamrock band. we would've given this chillspot a whooping five. but hey, we give second chances. let's just do a raincheck the
second time, right, party of five?

care to join us. i tell you, the place is promising. wink wink.

worldview

2008-10-17T20:29:00.002+08:00

worldview.
pananaw ng isang tao sa mundo.
ideology. life principles.

what you know. what drives you. mix them together.
your own definition of the world. grown and bred since you were little.
existential chunks. anything philosophical and what not. spilling to your life's reality.

leafing through notes of my philo class?
not.

i've always dreamt of meeting someone.
who could read through me.
catch my drift.

connection? yun ba yun?
worldview.
a dire necessity.

...

masaya pero mali :|

2008-10-13T12:56:00.003+08:00

ako ay... confused.

nagkaron na ba kayo ng moment kung saan nararamdaman niyo ang panandaliang saya? oo, yung magaan na pakiramdam. (in english: light, warm, and fuzzy feeling). kahit na mababaw lang, parang may malalim na impact siya?

tapos bigla mong mari-realize na may mali. sablay. at pilit mong gigisingin ang sarili mo. back to rationalizing. think of the repercussions. think. think. think. THINK.
(*toink* gising ka na!)

alam kong maiintindihan mo ako kung head person ka.
haaaay. bakit kaya ganito...

may tao bang likas na magnet sa mga bagay na masaya pero mali?

(more than) grateful...

2008-09-28T05:05:00.002+08:00

"i never realized sharing your blessings could move me to tears..."

my sisters and i agreed to give our cousin, ayii, a birthday treat. we've been craving for that good old italian meal at DonHen - it's been eons since our last dining experience, so we tagged them along and rekindled some gastronomic "memory". hitting two birds with one stone.

we were excited. our kid cousins were more elated. you can feel their jitters. and we all ate to our hearts' content. it warms my heart to see kuya botch giddy. ayii was overwhelmed for such a simple surprise. i guess any 5-year-old would feel that. strangers singing to her, sharing the joy of "adding" another year to her life. she couldn't speak. i thought she was going to cry...

to cut the long story short, we ended the day with huge smiles on our faces, and tummy-filled hoorahs! ^^ (ang sarap kumain kung sama-sama...)

the aftermath...
*never realized this simple treat had a huge impact on ayii's life.
case in point: she bragged about the whole experience to my sweetie kax. and she gave a blow-by-blow. in a knowing manner. (awww. i could just imagine!) - wahahaha. that's a winner!
*...that, this too, had an impact on our tita lyra's life...
what goes around comes around. it was totally unexpected. she stepped upfront, one sunday at church. and shared how much they've been blessed - ayiii celebrated her (1st) party outside the family, how much our dear cousin's very grateful for the whole experience. yaddah yaddah.

then she started to shed a tear. this totally moved me.
i guess she's just so happy for us. how my sisters and i, chipped in, just so we could give ayii that sweet bday treat. everything still fresh from memory, i remember her mouthing these words, "i'm just so thankful for their generosity... they could've fed the whole "clan" with that treat..." - ohman, we were totally soaked. tears were flowing. a super awww-experience.

come to think of it, we really could've fed more than 9 people with that sum of money.
it did burn holes in our pockets. but it's all worth it, knowing that this could forever be part of ayiii's fondest childhood memories. :)

gives much more meaning to sharing. we're just returning the favor, tita lyra^^
(thanks, tito jojo! hindi rin namin makalimutan yung libro mo samin nung bata pa kami)
next time, kayo na ulit ang taya! mukhang kailangan munang mag-regroup ng finances namin. hahahahaha. >.<>

life question x

2008-09-24T17:43:00.004+08:00

do you force friendship into people?

i believe that you couldn't just shove that down people's throats.
good Lord, i know that I'm mean. but if there's one thing that i'm not... I know that i'm NOT plastic.
and don't give me any venue to be one. (please hear my plea!)

Gahd. life is tough.

lazy day(s)

2008-09-11T16:54:00.000+08:00

so much to do.
but i feel so uninspired.

is it the weather?
or i'm such a sloth.

it's been days.
sigh.

life questions

2008-08-13T05:33:00.000+08:00

do grades define life's success?!?

an unexpected fiasco. totally uncalled for.
can you at least be proud of me?
i didn't ask for this, it just happened.
(I guess this is part of HIS grand scheme, huh?)

get over it. don't dwell in the past...
Lord, help me be the bigger (wo)man.

for what it's worth, i forgive you.
i'm seeking His grace to understand.. all these.

baffling. baffling indeed.
:|

ang happy! ^^

2008-07-26T08:41:00.000+08:00

last night was the happiest night of my life...

@.@

number TEN

2008-07-22T05:47:00.000+08:00

i am such a sap.
i cry at even the silliest commercials because some scenes move me. i sob at the tackiest teenybopper if it pinched my emotions. i am just a tear factory waiting to explode...

it pays to internalize things, because it is in those moments that you connect with whatever. so i guess, this didn't come a surprise to me anymore...

i was reading through these lines, as tears slowly rolled down my cheek. and i cried silently in the night, fearing that my sisters would wake and see me. :/

..."And if ever the day comes
That you finally see that no one else wants the job of making you happy more than I do,
That you finally feel the magic and that yearning
That you feel that being with me is worth all the risks"...
(excerpts of the poem written by Will for Ces, Cast 10 by Nautilus Comics)

i know this is sooo highschool, but still.
God, it pains to wait... sigh. major sigh.

fact: i know that my sisters would roll on the floor (laughing) after reading this.
Gahd, i'm so gonna be dead.

bandwagon

2008-07-21T05:14:00.000+08:00

should I jump into something just because everyone's into it... already?!?

affinity

2008-07-18T06:37:00.000+08:00

does closeness give you the license to become (a bit more) touchy?

>>> the "wonder" chronicles.

11 pancit canton. 33 pandesal. 2 coke.

2008-07-09T20:00:00.008+08:00

"no, i'm not entirely obsessive-compulsive. i'm just fond of counting things that's all. " ^^
....

(photos taken during our induction, June 19-21 in Cebu... me in red. so fun right?!?)
...
if you thought splashing me a bucket of ice cold water were enough... think again.
little miss me became the errand girl for the day.
(note: if there's one thing i "hate" doing, it's this.)

i heard it's still part of some-initiation in our department. [as i am in my second month in this new job.] feared to be called a sore loser, i felt compelled to complete the task. (thank God, i need not do it alone).

my late afternoon was pretty productive... breather from my desk job. good enough.
(1) did some "marketing". literally.
walked out in the street to buy the things i need.
pandesal. pancit canton. peanut butter. coke. check. check. check. check.

(2) enhanced my "culinary skills"
dashed to the pantry. started "cooking". 11 packs of pancit canton!?!
whoa. first time kong nakapagluto ng ganong karaming pancit canton. parang catering. nawindang ang beauty ko.

(3) the more, the many-er
thank God some of my workmates were on field. or else, i'd be sooo dead. "ang sarap naman ng luto mo... pwede ka na mag-asawa." or rephrased "wow, ang galing naman. ang sarap... parang lucky me." (pun intended? haha. wala silang choice, ako ang reyna ng moment.)

i love simple joys. i love how our team maximize resources. sa simpleng kain, lahat nabusog (sa kakatawa). - i'm loving this new world i'm in. "welcome to the family".

(4) [i am] a career woman
i am one, once i've put my heart into it. nasimulan na edi tapusin na ng sagaran.
errand girl in every sense of the word. capped the whole activity by... washing the dishes. and no, they didn't prod me into doing it. i just felt like helping out. (good girl effect)

i know this may seem senseless to you. reading boring details and all. so what?!?
i'm still considering this a momentous day in my mundane life.
...
300-peso budget. 1 hour-or so prep time. 11 packs-pancit canton. 33 pieces-pandesal. 2 bottles- 1.5 coke. 1 jar-peanut butter. shared by 20ish staff. 30-minute break. countless moments-laughter. loaded tummies. hefty hearts. one family. one new world (for me). another round of the initiation...

one more "memorable" day. i lavettt.

oh yeah, who ever said i was OC?!?

^^

Dear God

2008-07-01T14:37:00.002+08:00

Lord,

why do i feel empty in my deepest depths?
why do i feel like crying, giving away tears?

i cannot explain myself again.
Lift me up, Lord.

I know that things work for the good of those who love You.
sustain me...

random thought (insert number here)

2008-06-30T00:34:00.001+08:00

"why does the world stop every time this man is in the ring?"

today, he bagged another title. buckets of money go along with it. he made the "Filipinos proud" then again.

i know i should feel the same. share the joy whatsoever. well, yeah, he made a mark for our country. so what? marami pa rin naman ang nagugutom. walang trabaho. tumataas pa rin ang gasolina. kurakot pa rin ang gobyerno...

congrats, PACMAN.

"personal bubble"

2008-06-28T07:38:00.000+08:00

if you commute on a day-to-day basis, this term is nonexistent.
take my word for it.

if you're particularly territorial, you need to adjust so you won't feel violated.
i'm beginning to unlearn it.

if you are claustrophobic, or you somehow see yourself as one.
prepare to meet your doom.

welcome to the Philippines and our sucky transportation system.
"kung hindi mauubos ang oras mo sa trapik, ngarag ka naman sa pagco-commute."
trapped, indeed.

my personal bubble is thinning... Good Lord.

wherever the wind takes me...

2008-06-24T03:40:00.002+08:00

(photo: a memie of my thenlife at faraway land...)

"a seed planted. nurtured for growth, to bear fruit and be planted again...

a wave tossed in the ocean, set out in the world..."

call me idealistic, but i believe in a Maker Who crafts a grand scheme for everyone Who believes in Him...

things we do on a daily basis are tiny steps into that bigger picture. no matter how mundane it may seem. decisions we make can cause drastic changes into our being. it takes a whole lot of courage to succumb our self-made plans to Someone we do not see... but it feels far better to know that there's Someone bigger ahead of us, willing to prepare our paths, IF ONLY, we are willing to let Him...

i'd like to believe that God has placed me here for a purpose. (and no, i'm not gonna backtrack into my life. i might bore you to sleep...). Funny how, in retrospect, i see the link of one life experience into another...

Why I didn't die of dengue when I was eleven. Why He allowed me to study in that university, finishing off a four year-course in Child Development. Why He gave my parents the go-signal for me to set off to faraway land to work [so faaarrr from home]... and finally, Why He gave me peace in resigning from there only to find out an almost similar "scenario"...

...was because He intended me to work in the same field, but this time "closer" to home with a more directed purpose... reaching out to the marginalized. dealing with their holistic growth. I always tried to seek for that missing piece in everything i did the past two years. God planted that desire in my heart. And it can't be put out... it's exciting to know that kids learn more about their Maker and build a personal relationship with Him... To acknowledge that they need God and that they're nothing without Him. Seeing them grow up with a nurtured bond with Him gives much more meaning to the holistic growth we opt to achieve.

[As Curriculum Specialist] I know that I was given a task so big, but I have God Who would help me through. I am truly overwhelmed with my new role and responsibility. I even thought i was inept for this new post... but i was shaken by the fact that I was prepared for this and that I am not alone. My Maker is with me every step of the way.

The life i live now is not a spurt, out of the blue. It was carefully crafted, a plan to prosper me and not harm me. I wasn't brought here, tossed by the wind... I was planted by God's beautiful hands to pursue His plan and to bear fruit...

random thought (insert number here)

2008-06-01T13:26:00.000+08:00

do you equate someone to the things you give him or her?
"the value of x is directly proportional to the value of the things we give them..."

is it a fact or a fiction?
an open-ended thought shared to the rest of the world...

get a grip...

2008-05-12T06:44:00.000+08:00

funny how news have wings.
you say one thing. they learn of another.

bakit ganon? i still feel like i'm some sortof "celebrity".
it's weird that they care so much about my life.
and it's freaky that way.

(i know they mean well, but it's still whacked altogether. :/)

simple pero rock! ^^

2008-04-24T14:54:00.004+08:00

something for a post celebration.
04.13.2008

my parents were out for FOUR full days.
THEY turned 25 last April 10th:)
and went away for their silver wedding anniversary...
(yes, it was great of them to leave their fab daughters behind:/)

so we conspired and gave them a hefty surprise.
well, it wasn't "GRAND". but we're pretty sure it did rock our parents' worlds.

a challenge. we tried to cook something up on a budget. literally.
worked with tons of creativity. EFFORT. and a whole lotta teamwork.
prepped a 5-course meal. from scratch. yup, from appetizers all the way to dessert!
twas a first for us three, and i tell you... it was hard to work in the kitchen with the three of us around (we almost fought and all. haha).

thank God everything came out smoothly. SUCCESS! :)
(tough luck, my cam broke down during THE day, so much for documentation)

every bead of sweat and every ounce of effort paid off.
our parents didn't realize we could do something like this. my mom didn't think we could cook this well... my dad thought it was pretty neat altogether "fine dining right there in our garden..."

i love my folks. i heart my sisters. i love my family... to pieces.

creds: thanks to my sister, Ross , for putting this vid together.

twenny-ish.

2008-04-01T20:34:00.001+08:00

one. two. three. TWENNY-four.
yup, tis the day i turned the big two-four.
eew-eth. (blurting that for the nth time)

call me weird, but i've always been in denial. i hate adding a year to my age. i can't suck the fact that i'm a year older. ('cos it doesn't necessarily mean that i'm wiser... just kidding!)

basta, i'm just weird this way. and it'd take some time before i finally acknowledge that i am 24. bente quatro. 2-4. 24. twenty-four. 24. (only to realize that the year's over. haha.) honestly, i don't feel that i am anywhere in my 20's. isip-bata? hmm. child-like pwede pa. should i start acting my age? depends.

come on, kaka-birthday ko pa lang diba? haha. so pagbigyan niyo nako... BUT i hope you'd keep an open mind before your temperatures rise on me... i'm grateful for such a day. i'm thankful that God gave me another year to live and experience. i feel so blessed, having a bunch of people remember the 1st of APRIL. other it being april fools'.

mababaw lang akong tao. i'm easy to please.
thanks to everyone who greeted me. you've somehow shared this day with me ^.^
yes, i know i said that this day was "just like any ordinary day, if not for the fact that i intermittently get birthday messages etc."
thanks for bringing the message across.
thanks for your kind gestures. they're sweet altogether. promise!
thanks for making me feel special. and loved at that:)
i deeply appreciate each and every one of them... no matter how simple or "insignificant" it may seem. para sakin, malaking bagay na yon:)

i need not enumerate right? basta, i thank everyone who remembered this day. and i'm stretching these grateful arms to those who went the "extra mile". >:D<
i know that i need to make "bawi" cos this day was rather uneventful.
but i'm sealing the night with a blissful spirit. because i felt so blessed having these people around. plus i'm assured that God has better promises ahead of me.

i'm excited. oooh better, i'm elated! ;D
forget that i ever hated slating another year in my existence...

creds: since i forgot to take some snaps as proof of THE DAY. that clip was taken last December.. haha.

C'EST LA VIE: fifteen days and counting...

2008-03-24T20:03:00.001+08:00

Bum-ber days and beyond...

this is the life. for now.
i'm spending my 15th day or about a couple of weeks++ of bumhood.
(FYI: got out of work last March 9th.)

yup, i said bye-bye to my hectic days at work, been at it for 2 years and plus plus months. and HELLLOOO to infinite hours of sleep. maxing my waking hours... "productively". how? hmmm. (1) by turning my brain into mush: spending endless hours on dvd marathon, and/or (2) catching up with series i've missed, alternating it with (3) meaningful time spent by hitting the books for my "literary" thirst. AND IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH. i've pretty much (4) ate to my heart's content. (hello, weight gain?!? ohgahd, no!).... so much for "reflecting-slash-soul-searching" right there. yes, i so know what's running in your silly minds. i would definitely get my act together. just give me this month-long indulgence to keep my sanity. i'm sure you'd say, "she definitely needs this breather" if you know what i've been through. (overworked is an understatement.)

i'm so loving this.. and that's what counts come sundown...

and if it doesn't get any better. my fab bum-ber days are shared with "numerous" eaglets right there. nothing beats sweet time with mi familia! talk about purrr-fect timing. ^^

and yes, we're sort of rekindling our then-summer days. when we used to lounge at each other's houses. ransack the fridge of whatevers-left. talk endlessly about anything-under-the-sun. critique on the nitty-gritty details of our "favorite shows". then bade adieu. only to find ourselves do the same things the next day. and days after that...

simple as things are. i'm grateful that i'm given the chance to savor such a sweet time. and i thank God that He gave room for me to cope with QTT with my fab family. yes, i know how it feels to be a bum (right about now).. and it does seem so liberating. but this is so not going to be a permanent thing for me. promise.

creds: photos and the stories behind 'em.
above-> babysis, me, and mai sharing scoops of strawberry ice cream from tekie's stint. (yes, it's blurry)
then-> "sisters" living the life. we've never been this complete in ages! waiting for the "house" re-run. mai. babysis. midsy. lai. and tekie (poses?)

shoutouts to:
boinky, who shows up every now and then.
mikky, welcome to the club! taking the breather before medschool. ayos:D
boo and pampy for showing up once. do more than one okay?
so where in the world is... ram? (still in school? probably. or is just so stuck at home.)
do you guys still remember kakay? who the hell is she? oh snap, WHERE the hell is she pala?!?
how about our boys?

i heart my cousins... to pieces :*

wanderlust.

2008-03-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

consider myself a traveler...
yes, i know i haven't fulfilled much on trailing the world. but i've had a handful of experiences as reference.

i thirst for interaction.
and i don't mean, mainstreaming.
i search for something simpler yet more meaningful. and in a sense, enriching.

"a true traveler is defined by connections made... knowing the place beyond the surface. being one with the culture... even for just a day."

... i yearn to traverse the world with soul.

i choose to live this way...

2008-02-28T19:19:00.001+08:00

(photo taken a couple of years back. on our happy happy trip to Bohol:D)

Today. Yes, this very day.
I decide to start things anew.

Thank you, Lord for NEW beginnings.
My Life is FULL TO THE BRIM:)

So blessed, that i can't even contain it.
it is soooo happening.

optimism is the key.

"can you just cut it?"

2008-02-21T12:56:00.002+08:00

When you decide on something, do it. (with eyes shut!)
I've never gone this far. And it's liberating...
think: (me) skipping giddily on the mountaintop :)

I'm loving the new me.
(so totoy-ish ^.^)

Do you love it too? (go ahead. say it!)

Creds: Thanks to Ate Carl for doing me this fabulous bob. :)