only to find out...

last tuesday, i was faced with an unexpectable dilemma.. well.. u might think that i'm silly for ever taking such an issue seriously.. but.. what the heck.. this is my life...

i was in a 'happy state' but everything plummeted when i found out that the guy i'm crushing on was... oh well.. younger than me (read:2 years younger!!!!)

ang babaw noh? but im telling you... my emotion shifted from happy to downright PISSED when i've heard the friggin truth.. bad trip talaga!!!!!

i found myself scribbling incessantly on a piece of paper then my friend told me stop 'kc sayang raw ung ink ng pen ko'... then i realized that i was a bit anxious... hehe.. weirdo... i even wrote my ranting words on that paper... to release my frustration then threw it out... haaay.. life.........




....... four days after that 'revelation'

i have thought about everything that i could think of... turns out, i still like him... oh well... i told myself not to jump to conclusions, take things one day at a time...

i just have this one goal that i hope i would be able to achieve...

be friends with him before the sem ends... or at least be better acquainted... i just thought that this would be the consolation for everything....

well, so much for the 'spice' to my almost non-existent lovelife... in this sense, it's just 'crush' life.. ang babaw... haay

i just hope that days would be brighter.... life... haaay.. life....

episode two.. who would have thought???

i thought that i would never get the chance to speak to him again... until...

haha... he sat beside me during class... we grouped together because we shared the same views or beliefs on our classmate's report. we had a mini-debate in class and it was about premarital sex... are we in favor of it or not?

honestly, i did not expect him to take the con-side because... well, i thought that he was the usual type of guy... it was wrong of me to judge but he struck me as that. our reporter classmate even asked him if he was sure that he was taking the con-side... and he affirmed...

and so, our group huddled together... and as i mentioned earlier, he sat beside me... i didn't feel "kilig" at all.. weird.

we were discussing our points... and he asked me one specific point... it was related to our society's being double-standard when it comes to virginity... that it would be taken against the women if they lose their virginity prior to marriage, but it's okay with the men.. it's even considered a plus point or something.

so, to make this 'explanation' short... we had opposing views on this. he even mentioned that it was unfair because some males experience such stigmas or discriminations as well. well, i didn't really expect him to be that opinionated on the topic... i thought he was no different from the others. well, i was proven wrong....

i would like to believe that there is really more than meets the eye... this guy i'm talking about is really full of surprises... i would like to get to know him better... if given the chance.

there is more to discover... i find his persona interesting... hmmm... hehe... i wouldn't want to get my hopes up... it would be hard for me if in the end, i would find out that he is more of a disappointment...

haha.. what am i talking about???? bwahaha... weird thoughts...

girl, think... you like him because... he's chinito!!!!! bwahahaha

his eyes are really nice... ooohhh.. that lovely eyes...man... it's nice to look at... hehe..

I'm SUCH a sucker for chinitos!!!!!!! -_- ... hehe